"Ordnance Tactics"

Story by
Paul Redford

Teleplay by
Aaron Sorkin

Directed by
Alex Graves

Final Draft 2/9/99  (Yellow)

SPORTS NIGHT

"Ordnance Tactics"

#N320

Cast

Dan...........................Josh Charles
Casey.......................Peter Krause
Isaac.................Robert Guillaume
Dana...................Felicity Huffman
Jeremy.......................Josh Malina
Natalie.....................Sabrina Lloyd
Kim............................Kayla Blake
Elliot...........................Greg Baker
Chris............Timothy Davis-Reed
Will.............................Ron Ostrow
Dave........................Jeff Mooring
J.J....................Robert Mailhouse
Sally.......................Brenda Strong
Rebecca..........................Teri Polo
Alyson.................Suzanne Kellogg
Phil............................David Macer
Stuart......................Dennis Hadley
Celia.............Josaphine Barnsdale

(TEASER)

INT. NEWSROOM/CONTROL ROOM/STUDIO/NEWSROOM/CONFERENCE
ROOM/CONTROL ROOM/STUDIO/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT - (NIGHT 1)

THE ENTIRE NEWSROOM IS EMPTY.  DESERTED AS CAN BE.  ALL THE
LIGHTS ARE ON AND THE TELEVISION MONITORS ALL GLOW WITH
VARIOUS SPORTING EVENTS.  THE CAMERA TAKES US INTO THE CONTROL
ROOM AS WE RESET TO:

INT. CONTROL ROOM - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 1)

EMPTY SEATS AT VACANT CONSOLES.  THE WALL OF MONITORS SHOWS
TEST PATTERNS.  THE CAMERA TAKES US INTO THE STUDIO AS WE RESET TO:

INT. STUDIO - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 1)
(Dan, Casey, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot, Chris, Will,
Dave)

NOTHING.  EMPTY DESK.  UN-MANNED CAMERAS.  A GHOST TOWN.  FINALLY--

THE CAMERA MOVES TO THE CORRIDOR AT THE SIDE OF THE SHOW SET
AS THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN AND PEOPLE BEGIN STREAMING IN.  AND
NOW PEOPLE ARE COMING IN FROM DOORS ALL OVER THE SET,
EVERYONE VERY INTENT ON GETTING BACK TO WORK.  THERE'S LOUD
CHATTER WITH ORDERS BEING SHOUTED OVER ONE ANOTHER.

NATALIE

Everybody, right back to it.  Who's on
Indy?

ELLIOT

Right here.

NATALIE

Cut footage in five minutes, can you
do it?

ELLIOT

Yes. (SHOUTING)  Kim!

KIM

I'm gonna need sound.

ELLIOT

We'll get it.

WE FOLLOW NATALIE INTO THE NEWSROOM  AS WE RESET TO:
INT. NEWSROOM - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 1)

NATALIE

Kim, they've still got ten minutes of
copy.

KIM

I'm on it.

NATALIE

Thank you.  (SHOUTING)  No-huddle
offense everybody.

CASEY AND DAN WALK IN, A LITTLE BIT FAZED AND OUT OF SORTS.
THEY SORT OF STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTION, NOT REALLY
KNOWING WHAT TO DO.

NATALIE (CONT'D)

Dave, is there time for a camera test?

DAVE

I'm gonna run a quick one.  I need the
first team.

NATALIE

(SHOUTING) Kim, first team!

DANA COMES IN, COOL AND EFFICIENT AS CAN BE.

DANA

Chris, can you get with graphics.

CHRIS

On it.

DANA

Will--

WILL

Control room.

DANA

Yes.  (TO DAN AND CASEY)  What are you
doing?

DAN

What?

DANA

What are you two doing?

DAN

Us?

DANA

Yes.

DAN

We're standing here.

DANA

Guys, we're on the air in fifteen
minutes and thirty seconds, aren't
there many things you're supposed to
be doing?

CASEY

Yes.

DANA

Then what are you doing?

DAN

There was a bomb scare.

DANA

I know.  Casey--

CASEY

There was a bomb scare.

DANA

Did you know the two of you have been
repeating that over and over for the
last hour and twenty minutes?  Do you
know you've been repeating that over
and over?

DAN

Yes.

DANA

Why?

CASEY

There was a bomb scare.

DANA

Yes.

DAN

There was.

DANA

It's over now.

CASEY

Well it worked.

DANA

What do you--

CASEY

We're scared!

DANA

Casey--

DANA CROSSES INTO THE CONFERENCE ROOM FOLLOWED BY DAN AND
CASEY
RESET TO:
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT -(NIGHT 1)

DAN

Dana, somebody tried to blow up this
building.  And you people are just
walkin' around like... somebody didn't
just try to blow up this building!

DANA

Nobody tried to blow up the building.

CASEY

They threatened to blow up the
building.

DANA

Please get to work.

DAN

Was this just herd instinct or did
we actually get an all-clear from
someone in authority?

DANA

They didn't find a bomb.

DANA SETS OFF AND DAN AND CASEY FOLLOW HER--

CASEY

This is a huge building, they looked
for an hour and twenty minutes.

DAN

I can't find my car keys in an hour
and twenty minutes.

RESET TO:
INT. CONTROL ROOM - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 1)
AS DANA WALKS IN, FOLLOWED BY DAN AND CASEY--

DANA

They have very advanced ways of detecting these things.

DAN

Do they?

DANA

Yes. (TO DAVE) 2-4-6 on a hard count.
Bam, bam, bam.

DAVE

Got it.

DANA EXITS INTO THE STUDIO AS WE RESET TO:
INT. STUDIO - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 1)

CASEY

(TO DANA) What are they?

DANA

What are what?

DAN

What are the advanced ways they have
of detecting these things?

DANA

Dan--

CASEY

What are the advanced ways?

DANA

(PAUSE)  Well, as I understand it, they
use dogs.

CASEY

I'm outta here.

DAN

Right behind you.

DANA

Oh get a hold of yourselves, would ya.

CASEY

Dogs?

DANA

Dogs.  Yes.  Specially trained dogs.

DAN

We want to meet them.

DANA

Guys--

DAN

We want to meet the dogs right now.

DANA

Okay.  And what will  you say to the
dogs when you meet them?

DAN

(PAUSE)  She's got a decent point.

CASEY

Yeah.

NATALIE COMES THROUGH WITH A PRINT OUT--

NATALIE

Pittsburgh put Steve Boyer and Randy
McNeal on waivers.

DANA

That's a story.

CASEY

Yes it is. (TO DAN)  Don't you think
that's a story?

DAN

Yes.  You know what else is a story?

CASEY

That somebody tried to blow us up?

DAN

Yeah.

DANA

These two are the biggest babies.

CASEY

Hey you're afraid of fish, okay? I'm
afraid of dying in a hail of
shrapnel, who's crazier?

NATALIE

There's a contest.

DANA

McNeal and Boyer in the 30's.  Get
paintbox on an over-the-shoulder.

NATALIE

Thank you.

NATALIE HEADS TOWARD THE CONTROL ROOM AND DAN, CASEY AND DANA
FOLLOW--
RESET TO:
INT. CONTROL ROOM - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 1)

CASEY

Natalie--

NATALIE

Fellas, you've got ten minutes of copy
and you've gotta get into wardrobe.

DAN

We're just sayin' did they look hard.

CASEY

Like did they look in the bottom
drawer of our filing cabinet?

DAN

We never use that drawer.

NATALIE

Everything's fine. Jeremy, isn't
everything fine?

JEREMY

Yes.

NATALIE

Everything's fine.

DAN

How do you know?

NATALIE

Jeremy just told me.

CASEY

Seriously--

NATALIE

Chris, gimme Salt Lake.

CASEY

Jeremy--

JEREMY

They use dogs.

CASEY

Do you know what a bomb looks like?

JEREMY

Actually I don't.

CASEY

Does anybody?  Chris?

CHRIS

No.

CASEY

Will?

WILL

No.

CASEY

Dave?

DAVE

No.

CASEY

But we're bettin' our lives that a
German Shepherd can pick one out.

JEREMY

They smell them.

CASEY

They smell them.

NATALIE

Yes. Chris.

CHRIS

Salt Lake's up.

DAN

They're trained in this?

NATALIE

Yes. Dave.

DAVE

Camera 3 to mark.

CASEY

Well trained?

NATALIE

What?

DAN

Their sense of smell.  It's superior?

NATALIE

Yes.

DANA COMES IN--

DANA

Let's see 1 through 5 and I need
Cincinnati.  Dan, Casey, if you two
don't--

DAN

Quick question.

DANA

What?

DAN

Do these dogs ever get a cold?

WILL

Cincinnati's up.

DANA

(PAUSE)  No.

DAN

They don't?

DANA

No.

CASEY

Never?

DANA

No.

DAN

What're you, a vet?

DANA

Please--

CASEY

Is there anyone who can say anything
that will make us feel like the smart
thing to do is to stay in this
building right now?

DANA

In ten minutes, three and a half
million people will tune in to watch
the two of you on television.  Many of
them will be women.

CASEY AND DAN LOOK AT EACH OTHER...

CASEY/DAN

(A LITTLE SHEEPISHLY) Yeah, okay/ All
right.

CASEY AND DAN HEAD OFF--

DANA

Ten minutes live.

END OF TEASER

ACT I

(A)

INT. ISAAC'S OFFICE/EXECUTIVE CORRIDOR/DAN AND CASEY'S OFFICE
- DAY - (DAY 2)
(Dan, Casey, Dana, J.J.)

THE OFFICE IS EMPTY FOR A MOMENT BEFORE DANA OPENS THE DOOR
AND WALKS IN.  SHE GOES STRAIGHT TO THE PHONE TO PICK UP WITH
A CALLER SHE'S PUT ON HOLD IN ANOTHER ROOM.  WHILE SHE TALKS
ON THE PHONE, SHE'LL ROOT AROUND ON ISAAC'S DESK FOR SOME
PAPERS SHE'S LOOKING FOR.  SHE'LL FIND THEM WITHOUT MUCH
DIFFICULTY.

DANA

(INTO PHONE)  Alan, thanks for holding.
I'm in Isaac's office, I know I saw it
on his desk.

J.J. APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY AND TAPS LIGHTLY.  DANA HALF WAVES
AND INDICATES THAT SHE'LL BE JUST A SECOND.

DANA (CONT'D)

(INTO PHONE)  It's gonna be in outline
form, but he's kept me pretty well up
to speed on it so I think--
(SHE LISTENS).

J.J.

The deficit overlay?

DANA NODS "YES" TO J.J.

DANA

(INTO PHONE)  That sounds fine, we can
meet at four, if you like.  No, wait,
I'm sorry, I've got a run-down at
four.  We can meet at six-thirty.
(LISTENS)  Good.  Thanks.  (LISTENS) I
spoke to him just this morning, he
sounds awfully good. (LISTENS) Yes.
(LISTENS)  I spoke to him just this
morning.  (LISTENS)  I will.  (LISTENS)
Thanks.

DANA HANGS UP--

J.J.

You spoke to Isaac this morning?

DANA
(BEAT)  No.  I spoke to Esther.  Isaac
couldn't--he was unable to come to the
phone when I called.

J.J.

Was there any sign of this?

DANA

Of what?

J.J

Of Isaac having a stroke?  Was there
any sign of this?

DANA

Was there any sign of Isaac having a
stroke?

J.J.

Yes.

DANA

You mean other than Isaac having a
stroke?

J.J.

Dana, it's unbecoming of you to
blame me for any part of this.

DANA

That's a shame, J.J., 'cause I want so
much to be attractive to you.

J.J.

We're gonna have to work together.

DANA

Yes I know.

J.J.

For instance, I can help you with
the deficit overlay.

DANA

Isaac kept me up to speed.

J.J.

And if you want to create the
impression that Isaac's healthier than
he is--for instance if you want to
create the impression that Isaac's
still in control of the show when
clearly he's unable to even speak on a
telephone... I can help
you there, too.

DANA

He was unable to come to the phone
when I called this morning, J.J., he's
able to speak.

DANA WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM AND J.J. FOLLOWS AS WE
RESET TO:
INT. EXECUTIVE CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 1)
AS DANA AND J.J. CONTINUE WALKING--

J.J.

He just had a stroke, Dana, where was
he, square dancing?

DANA

What do you want?

J.J.

Excuse me?

DANA

What do you want?

J.J.

I want to do my job.  I want to help
you, which is my job.  And I want to
do it all without being treated like
the guy who ran over your dog, how's
that?

DANA

That's fine.

J.J.

You can't run the organization and
run the show at the same time.

DANA

I don't have to run the organization.

J.J.

He can't talk on the telephone, Dana.

DANA LOOKS AROUND AND SEES THAT THEY SHOULD CONTINUE THIS IN
PRIVATE.  THEY'RE STANDING IN FRONT OF DAN AND CASEY'S EMPTY
OFFICE, AND SHE INDICATES THAT THEY SHOULD STEP IN.
RESET TO:
INT. DAN AND CASEY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS - (DAY 2)

DANA

Right now.  Today.

J.J.

I'm saying right now, today, give some
of your responsibilities to Sally.

DANA

What's wrong with Natalie?

J.J.

We have more confidence in Sally.

DANA

I have more confidence in Natalie.

J.J.

Be that as it may--

DANA

You want me to run the organization
but let the network make all the
decisions?

J.J.

I want you and I to work together
to insure the network doesn't--

DANA

--what.

J.J.

--feel the need to bring in--

DANA

--an interim managing editor.

J.J.

Yes.

DANA

There's no need to do that.

J.J.

I agree.

DANA

That is a bad move, that is a wrong
call, and I will stand in Luther's
office and tell him it's a wrong call.

J.J.

Luther could give a damn what you
think is a wrong call, Dana.  He cares
what I think is a wrong call.  So don't
sit there and think that I need you to
like me, I'm telling you the way it
is.

DAN AND CASEY WALK IN.  THE FOUR OF THEM LOOK AT ONE
ANOTHER...

CASEY

Hey.

DAN

Hey.

J.J.

Hey.

DANA

Hey.

THERE'S A PAUSE BEFORE--

CASEY

This is weird, 'cause this is exactly
where our office used to be.

DANA

We can continue this in the conference
room.

DAN

So J.J., yesterday was interesting.

J.J.

How so?

DAN

How so?

J.J.

Yes.

DAN

Well McKinney had 41 points against
the Clippers, the Diamond Backs won
their fourth in a row--

CASEY

--and there was that thing where
somebody tried to blow us up.

DAN

Yeah.

J.J.

Don't take it personally.

DAN

No I think I will take it personally.

J.J.

The bomb threat was a hoax.

CASEY

What was it about?

J.J.

Denny Denton.

CASEY

What about him?

J.J.

They don't like his radio show.

DAN

I don't like his radio show either,
you know what I do?

J.J.

What?

DAN

I change the station.

J.J.

Would that the world were as
enlightened as you, Dan.

DAN

Oh were that it would.

CASEY

Were.

DAN

What?

CASEY

Never mind.

DANA

Thank you.  When can I see rough
features?

CASEY

Two hours.

DANA

(TO J.J.) Let's go.

J.J. EXITS AS CASEY CALLS DANA BACK IN THE ROOM--

CASEY

Dana.

DANA STEPS BACK IN WITHOUT J.J.--

DANA

Esther says he's a little better
today.

CASEY

I'll call her in a little bit.

DAN

You all right?

DANA

Yeah.

DAN

With him?

DANA

Yeah.

DANA EXITS--

DAN

So we're two likable guys.

CASEY

I think so.

DAN

I think we're very likable.

CASEY

I'm liked wherever I go.

DAN

I'm liked wherever I go and wherever
you go.

CASEY

We're perfectly likable.

DAN

Yes.

DAN AND CASEY GO ABOUT THEIR WORK FOR A MOMENT BEFORE--

CASEY

Yet someone tried to blow us up.

DAN

That's what I'm sayin'.

CUT TO:

ACT I

(B)

INT. CONTROL ROOM/CORRIDOR/EDITING
ROOM/STUDIO/CORRIDOE/CONTROL ROOM - DAY - (DAY 2)
(Jeremy, Natalie, Chris, Will, Dave)

NATALIE IS BEING SHOWN SOME FILM BY WILL, CHRIS AND DAVE--

NATALIE

Does this include Seattle?

CHRIS

Yes.

WILL

No.

CHRIS

It does.

WILL

It doesn't.

NATALIE

The film from last night.

CHRIS

Yes.

NATALIE

Seattle.

CHRIS

Yes.

NATALIE

It does?

CHRIS

It does.

WILL

It doesn't.

NATALIE

Dave--

DAVE

(TO CHRIS AND WILL)  Hey.  Betty, Wilma,
is Seattle on the tape?

JEREMY TAPS ON THE GLASS AND INDICATES THAT HE WANTS TO SPEAK
TO NATALIE--

NATALIE

Excuse me.

NATALIE GETS UP AND WALKS OUT AS WE
RESET TO:
INT. CORRIDOR - SAME TIME

NATALIE (CONT'D)

Hey.

JEREMY

Hi.

NATALIE

Good news.  Pluto isn't being demoted
as a planet.

JEREMY

I need to talk to you.  Can we go in
the editing room?

NATALIE

Sure.

JEREMY

Thanks.

THEY WALK TOWARD THE EDITING ROOM--

NATALIE

It was going to be demoted as a
planet.  It was gonna receive minor
planet status.  But apparently there
was an outpouring of protest.  Doesn't
the whole thing strike you as funny?

BY NOW THEY ARE IN THE EDITING ROOM AS WE
RESET TO:
INT. EDITING ROOM - CONTINUOUS - (DAY 2)

WHERE JEREMY CLOSES THE DOOR.

JEREMY

What I'm gonna say might well sound
abrupt and terrible, but when I say
it, I want you to remember that the
key word, the key word is
"temporarily".  Temporarily is the key
word.  So there's not gonna be any
reason to be upset or unhappy.  Okay?  I
think we should temporarily--
temporarily-- stop seeing each other.

NATALIE

(PAUSE) Okay.

JEREMY

(PAUSE) I'm serious.

NATALIE

I know.

JEREMY

I think we should temporarily stop
seeing each other.

NATALIE

Okay.

JEREMY

I'm serious.

NATALIE

I know.

JEREMY

Why are you not unhappy?

NATALIE

I don't acknowledge it.

JEREMY

You don't acknowledge it?

NATALIE

I don't recognize the break-up.  I'm
sorry.

JEREMY

You can't not recognize it.

NATALIE

I am.

JEREMY

You can't.

NATALIE

I did.

JEREMY

Natalie, this is a very hard time
right now.

NATALIE

I know.

JEREMY

My head is coming apart.

NATALIE

I know.

JEREMY

I need to be able to get my life in
order, to say nothing of what's going
on with Isaac.  I mean, this is a good
time to give Dana everything we've
got.

NATALIE

I know.

JEREMY

We need to stop seeing each other.

NATALIE

No.

JEREMY

Wait.  I break up with you.

NATALIE

Mmmm, not this time.  No.  I gotta go
back to work.

NATALIE HEADS OUT OF THE EDITING ROOM AND JEREMY FOLLOWS AS
WE RESET TO:
INT. STUDIO/CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS - (DAY 2)

JEREMY

Natalie, this is unilateral.  I don't
need you to sign off on this in order
for it to be valid.

NATALIE

Sweetie, if it makes you feel better
to break up with me, that's fine.  But
I don't break up with you.

JEREMY

It doesn't work like that.

NATALIE

It's working like that right now.

JEREMY FOLLOWS NATALIE INTO THE CONTROL ROOM AS WE
RESET TO:
INT. CONTROL ROOM - CONTINUOUS - (DAY 2)

NATALIE (CONT'D)

Does or does not the tape contain
Seattle.

JEREMY

Hang on.

CHRIS

It does.

DAVE

It does.

WILL

Apparently it does.

JEREMY

I'm not kidding, Natalie, I'm totally
serious.

DAVE

You guys want us to step out?

NATALIE

No. Jeremy's trying to break up with
me, but it won't take.

JEREMY

Natalie--

NATALIE

Quiet.  Show me Seattle.

END OF ACT I

ACT II

(C)

INT. REBECCA'S CORRIDOR/OFFICE - NIGHT - (NIGHT 2)
(Dan, Rebecca, Stuart, Celia, Phillip)

DAN STRIDES DOWN THE HALL, SAYING "HI" TO VARIOUS PEOPLE
ALONG THE WAY--

PHILLIP

Hey Dan.

DAN

What do you say, Phillip?

CELIA

Hey, Dan.

DAN

You're a knockout, Celia.

DAN GIVES A LITTLE "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT" TAP ON REBECCA'S
DOOR--

REBECCA

Hey.

DAN

How ya doin'.

REBECCA

Before I get mad at you, how's Isaac?

DAN

His blood pressure's normal.

REBECCA

That's something.

DAN

Why are you mad at me?

REBECCA

Why were you avoiding me during the
bomb scare.

DAN

I wasn't avoiding you.

REBECCA

You were.  We were out on the street
for over an hour.  It was a perfectly
good bomb scare.

DAN

I tried to find you.

REBECCA

No you didn't.  And everytime I tried
to find you, someone would say that
you had just left the place that
someone else had just said you had
been right before.

DAN

That was a truly spectacular sentence.

REBECCA

Danny--

DAN

It was a bomb scare, Rebecca, I was
serpentining.  I was employing the
covert ordnance tactics that I
learned.

REBECCA

Where did you learn covert ordnance
tactics?

DAN

(PAUSE) 'Nam.

REBECCA

You're avoiding me.

DAN

Yes.

REBECCA

No, you are.

DAN

I just admitted it.

REBECCA

You are, Danny.

DAN

I'm sayin' I am.

REBECCA

Why are you avoiding me?

DAN

Why?

REBECCA

Yeah.

DAN

Take a wild, flailing, shot in the
dark.  Take a ridiculous, nothin' on
the line, Hail Mary toss from the
backcourt heave at why I might be
avoiding you.

REBECCA

'Cause you thought Steve and I were
divorced when in reality we're only
separated and Steve wants us to go
back into counseling and I'm on the
fence about it and you hate Steve?

DAN

That's amazing.

REBECCA

Dan--

DAN

That's amazing that you got it on the
first guess like that.  I'm gonna take
you on tour.  We're gonna make some
money, me and you.

REBECCA

I'm thinking about it.  I'm thinking
about going back into counseling with
Steve.  I never said we needed to stop
dating.

DAN

I will absolutely not stand in the way
of another man's marriage.

REBECCA

Then what are you doing here?

DAN

What am I doing here?

REBECCA

Yes.

DAN

I came to say hi.

REBECCA

Hi.

DAN

No kidding.  I know you were looking
for me yesterday.  I reaffirm my
position that I'm here for you, but it
would be wrong for us to date.  But it
should be noted that I'm here for you.

REBECCA

Where?

DAN

Here.

REBECCA

So your strategy for this is to be
wonderful?

DAN

Yes.

REBECCA

Listen--

DAN

You know why?

REBECCA

Why?

DAN

It works every time.

AN OFFICE WORKER (STUART) WALKS BY THE OPEN DOOR--

STUART

Hey Dan.

DAN

Hey Stuart.  (TO REBECCA)  Gotta go.

DAN EXITS AS WE
CUT TO:

ACT II

(D)

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM/NEWSROOM - NIGHT - (NIGHT 2)
(Dan, Casey, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot, Sally)

DANA SITS WITH SALLY --

DANA

Sally, I hope this won't disrupt
things too much on the two a.m.

SALLY

It won't.

DANA

It's just for a week or so.

SALLY

I understand.

DANA

Just 'til Isaac gets back.

SALLY

I'm just surprised.

DANA

Are you?

SALLY

Surprised that you asked me.

DANA

Why?

SALLY

I would've thought you'd have more
confidence in Natalie.

DANA

(BEAT)  No.

SALLY

I'd have thought you would.

DANA

No.

NATALIE COMES IN--

NATALIE

Good news.

DANA

What?

NATALIE

Pluto's still a planet.

SALLY

It was touch and go there for a while.

NATALIE

Don't underestimate Pluto.  Pluto
doesn't know the word quit.

DANA

Natalie, in Isaac's absence, I'm gonna
have Sally assume some of my functions
while I assume some of Isaac's.

NATALIE

I had a hunch.  Thanks for helping out,
Sally.

SALLY

Sure.

DANA

It's just 'til Isaac gets back.

NATALIE

Right.

DANA

And I'm talking about some of my
functions, not a lot.

SALLY

Right.

DANA

Hardly any.

NATALIE

I understand.

DAN AND CASEY WALK IN. ELLIOT AND KIM WILL FOLLOW--

CASEY

Hey.

DANA

Guys, I'm having Sally take over a
very small number of my functions.

CASEY

That's fine.

DANA

Not many functions at all.

JEREMY ENTERS

JEREMY

Could I say something please?

DANA

Sure.

JEREMY

Natalie and I have broken up.

DANA LOOKS AT NATALIE, WHO SHAKES HER HEAD "NO".

JEREMY (CONT'D)

We have.

NATALIE

In his head.

JEREMY

I put it in writing.

NATALIE

That's sweet.

JEREMY

All right.  Just so you know.  If I
wanted to right now, I could ask out
other women.

NATALIE

No.

JEREMY

I could.

NATALIE

No.

JEREMY

Dana, would you like to go out with
me?

DANA

I can't.

JEREMY

Why not?

DANA

You're seeing Natalie.

JEREMY

All right.  I'm calling the police.

DANA

We've got the whip-around with what?

DAN

Baltimore, New York, Boston.

CASEY

Oakland, San Francisco and L.A.

DANA

Features?

JEREMY

Mike Richter, the Chinese swimmer and
the Lakers' front court.

DANA

Where are they?

A STAFFER COMES IN AND HANDS CASEY SOME PAPERS--

KIM

20, 50 and 60.

DANA

Where are we on time?

ELLIOT

We're six minutes long.

DANA

Let's get it down to two by the ten
o'clock.  That's all.

NATALIE

Back here at ten.

CASEY

Hang on. I've been handed some
information I requested on, basically,
what to do in the event you think the
building you're in might blow up at
any moment.  For instance, it says you
should stay away from unsecured walls
or open electrical wiring.

DAN AND CASEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER...

CASEY (CONT'D)

So it's a good thing you and I don't
work in front of a fake backdrop over
which hangs like a million volts of
electrical equipment.

DAN

Yeah.

NATALIE

Back here at ten.

JEREMY

(TO NATALIE) I need to talk to you.

NATALIE

Sure.

JEREMY FOLLOWS NATALIE OUT THE DOOR AS WE
RESET TO:
INT. NEWSROOM - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 2)

JEREMY

My mother and father are getting
divorced.

NATALIE

I know that.

JEREMY

My father's been having an affair with
another woman for 27 years.

NATALIE

I know that too.

JEREMY

That's since before I was born.

NATALIE

And someone, I'm not sayin' who, has a
little birthday comin' up.

JEREMY

Natalie, stop walking.

NATALIE DOES.

JEREMY (CONT'D)

Nothing is the same anymore.

NATALIE

Many things are the same.

JEREMY

Natalie--

NATALIE

I believe that your decision making
skills aren't the best right now.  I'm
taking you into receivership.  We're
not broken up.

NATALIE EXITS AS WE
CUT TO:

ACT II

(E)

INT. DAN AND CASEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT - (NIGHT 2)
(Dan, Casey, Sally)

CASEY IS ON THE PHONE...

CASEY

(INTO PHONE)  He can hear you, though,
right?  He understands what you're
saying?  (LISTENS)  All right, tell him
everything here is fine.  Let him watch
the show.  Tell him everything is fine.
(LISTENS)  I wish you'd let me do more,
Esther.  (LISTENS)  G'bye.

SALLY

Isaac's wife?

CASEY LOOKS UP TO SEE SALLY STANDING IN THE DOORWAY.

CASEY

Yeah.  He's doing better today.

SALLY

Good.

CASEY

Sally, tell me you didn't have
anything to do with Natalie getting
muscled to the side.

SALLY

(BEAT)  You know, for someone I'm
sleeping with, sometimes you don't say
the nicest things to me.

CASEY

I'm sorry.

SALLY

There's gonna be a press conference
after the owners meet tonight in
Tuscon, I can get you on the satellite
feed between ten-twenty and ten-forty,
you want it?

CASEY

Yeah.

SALLY

You got it.

CASEY

But ask Natalie first.

SALLY

I got a phone call, Casey.  That's all.

CASEY

How many people know about us?

SALLY

How many have you told?

CASEY

I told Dan.

SALLY

Then that's how many know.

CASEY

Okay.

SALLY

Am I seeing you tonight?

CASEY

Call me after your show.

SALLY

Should I just come over?

CASEY

Yeah, just come over.

SALLY

Okay.

CASEY

But talk to Natalie about the other
thing.

SALLY

Okay.  (BEAT)  I'm sorry about Isaac.

CASEY

Thanks.  I mean, yeah.  Okay.

SALLY LEAVES, PASSING DAN--

SALLY

Hey Dan.

DAN

Hey Sally.

SALLY

What the hell does that mean?

DAN

What?

SALLY

No, I mean, what the hell does that
mean?

DAN

What the hell does what mean?

SALLY

Hey Sally.

DAN

It meant, Hey Sally.

SALLY

(BEAT)  Okay, so did I just totally
come unglued?

DAN

Yeah.  I like to see it in you.  It's a
tense time.  Glue's not gonna work.  
You wanna try it again?

SALLY

Yeah.

DAN

Hey Sally.

SALLY

Hey Dan.

DAN

There you go.

SALLY

Thanks.

SALLY LEAVES--

DAN

She's totally unglued.

CASEY

We need to give that speech to Dana
and Natalie.

DAN

What speech?

CASEY

That unglued speech.

DAN

It wasn't a speech.

CASEY

It was a talking-to, and we need to
give it to Dana and Natalie.

DAN

I've noticed they're a little too
calm.

CASEY

They're way too calm.

DAN

Frighteningly calm.

CASEY

They're gonna blow any second.

DAN

I've been thinking the exact same
thing.

CASEY

We can't defuse the explosives, but we
can detonate them in an unpopulated
area.

DAN

Drive it out to the desert where it
can't hurt anybody.

CASEY

Right.

DAN

Well if you've got some calm people
and you want to make them upset, I say
we're the guys to do it.

CASEY

Yeah.

DAN

(BEAT)  Should we eat first?

CASEY

Yeah.

CUT TO:

ACT II

(H)

INT. ISAAC'S OFFICE/EXECUTIVE CORRIDOR/NEWSROOM/CONTROL
ROOM/STUDIO - NIGHT - (NIGHT 2)
(Dan, Casey, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot, Chris, Will,
Dave, Alyson)

DANA IS ON THE PHONE AGAIN, SEARCHING FOR SOME PAPERS ON THE
DESK TOP--

DANA

(INTO PHONE)  It's no problem, Alan,
he's got it here someplace.

NATALIE WALKS IN THE OPEN DOOR--

DANA (CONT'D)

(INTO PHONE)  Listen, I'm gonna find it
and call you back.  Thank you. No, it's
no problem.

DANA HANGS UP--

NATALIE

Sally put together a Q&A for the feed
from Tuscon.

DANA

Good.  (BEAT)  It's what J.J. wanted,
Natalie.  He made a threat and I
believe him.

NATALIE

It's okay.

DANA

This isn't a good time to fight with
the network.

NATALIE

I understand.

DANA

Thank you.

NATALIE

It's no problem.

DAN

It's no problem.

CASEY

Don't worry about it.

DAN AND CASEY WALK IN WHILE THEY TALK--

DAN

Everything's fine.

CASEY

Couldn't be better.

DAN

No big deal.

DANA

What's goin' on?

DAN

Well let's see:

CASEY

The building had to be evacuated last
night 'cause a group of God-fearing
people said they didn't like Denny
Denton's impression of the Son of God.
Why?  Because Denny Denton does him
with a lisp.

DAN

My girlfriend, whom I've grown quite
fond of, is thinking about going back
to her husband, but that's just 'cause
he treats her bad.

CASEY

The only thing in Jeremy's life that
makes him happy right now is Natalie,
so he's decided this'd be a good time
get rid of Natalie.

DAN

The network's decided this is a good
time to show Dana who's boss and
unless you do something and lickity
split, his name is gonna be J.J.

CASEY

And, oh yeah, Isaac's lying in a bed
at Columbia Pres with a stroke.

DAN

Anything else?

CASEY

We got the satellite feed from Tuscon.

DAN

Then we're all set.

CASEY

Good show everybody, let's eat 'em up.

CASEY AND DAN START TO EXIT--

NATALIE

We're women.

CASEY

What?

DANA

We're women.

DAN

You're women.

DANA

Yes.

CASEY

I have to say, Danny, that in both
their cases, there's considerable
evidence to support that theory.

DAN

Dana--

DANA

We're in charge.  We're women in
charge.  And we're keeping it together.
That's what we do.

CASEY

That's what you do.

DANA

That's right.

CASEY

Well we're men, and we're petrified.
That's what we do.

DAN

And if you're scared, if you're upset,
if you're angry, if you think Isaac's
never coming back, if you think the
network wants Sally for your job, if
you think you're losing a handle on
Jeremy, if you think you've lost the
handle on Gordon, me and Casey and
Jeremy are the people to talk to.  You
never know, we might be able to say or
do something that'll make you feel
better.

CASEY

That's the other thing we do.

DAN

So with us, in private, feel free to
come unglued.

CASEY

Do either of you have anything to say?

DANA

(PAUSE)  Somebody threatened to blow up
the building last night.

DAN

Yes.

DANA

I mean, they had to evacuate the
building.

CASEY

Right.

DANA

For fear that an explosive device
would kill us all.

DAN

Yes.

DANA

Because Denny Denton was doing Jesus
with a lisp?

DAN

That's right.

DANA

We're not having our best week, are
we?

CASEY

No.

DANA

I can't remember the last time things
were this awful.

DAN

And it might even get worse.

NATALIE

Excellent.

CASEY

There's some good news coming in
eleven seconds, though.

DANA

Good news?

CASEY

Yeah.

DANA

What?

CASEY

Ready?

KIM (VO)

Three minutes to air.  First team in
the studio please.

CASEY

Have a good show.

CASEY AND DAN EXIT--

DANA

Hang in there with this, Natalie.

NATALIE

Jeremy?

NATALIE FOLLOWS DANA OUT THE DOOR AS WE
RESET TO:
INT. EXECUTIVE CORRIDOR/NEWSROOM - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 2)

AS DANA AND NATALIE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE NEWSROOM--

DANA

The network.  I'll tell 'em I can use
Sally's help but I'm gonna run my show
and J.J. can take a seat in the
bleachers.

NATALIE

Whatever you need.

DANA

I need you.  And I need Isaac back.  And
I need people to stop trying to blow
up the building.

NATALIE

You got me.

DANA

That's a start.

DANA AND NATALIE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE CONTROL ROOM

NATALIE

(CALLING OUT)  Let's go!  Two minutes!
Let's eat 'em up!  Isaac's watching
tonight.

DANA

And I think you're absolutely right
about Jeremy, by the way.

NATALIE

Refusing to accept the break-up?

DANA

Do not accept it.  Do not recognize it.
It is not valid.

NATALIE

I agree.

DANA AND NATALIE WALK INTO THE CONTROL ROOM AS WE
RESET TO:
INT. CONTROL ROOM/STUDIO - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 2)

DAVE

Roll VTR.  60 seconds live.

THE SHOW MUSIC STARTS AS--

CHRIS

Stand by 2, 2A, 4 and 5.

WILL

Loading F/X 5.

CHRIS

F/X 5 is loaded.

WILL

No it's not.

CHRIS

It's loaded.

WILL

I just loaded it now.

DAVE

I'll kill you both with my hands.

IN THE STUDIO, ALYSON IS FINISHING UP ON DAN--

ALYSON

You're all set.  Have a good show.

DAN

Thank you Alyson.

CASEY

Alyson?

ALYSON

Yes?

CASEY

Don't stand too close to this wall.
It's not real.  (SHOUTING OUT) In fact,
everybody listen up!  The metallurgy,
the structural wiring, the glass... I
know we've come to think of this place
as hom, but it's a shooting gallery.
If you hear ticking, run for your
lives.  (BEAT)  Okay, good show.

DAVE

30 seconds live.

NATALIE

I'd just like to confirm for everyone
that I am Jeremy's girlfriend.

JEREMY

Natalie--

NATALIE

I am his girlfriend and he's seen me
naked many times.

JEREMY

Natalie--

NATALIE

Sometimes I do a little dance.

WILL TURNS AROUND TO LOOK AT NATALIE--

JEREMY

(TO WILL)  Eyes front, mister.

DAVE

In ten.

CASEY

Dan?

DAN

Yeah?

CASEY

I just wanted to say that if something
terrible ever had to happen to one of
us, I'd want it to be you.

DAN

Thanks.

DAVE

In three, two--

DAN

Good evening, from New York City I'm
Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall.
Those stories plus, an Avalanche in
Colorado, Lightening in Tampa Bay and
Warriors in the Golden State.

CASEY

We've got the Suns moving in Phoenix
and Hurricanes in Miami but guess
what?  Pluto's still a planet.  All that
comin' up after this.  You're watching
Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.

FADE TO BLACK.

END OF SHOW