"Cliff Gardner"
by
Aaron Sorkin
Directed by
Bob Berlinger
UPDATED FINAL 9/20/99
SPORTS NIGHT
"Louise Revisited"
#N327
Cast
Dan........................Josh Charles
Casey.....................Peter Krause
Isaac..............Robert Guillaume
Dana................Felicity Huffman
Jeremy....................Josh Malina
Natalie.................Sabrina Lloyd
Kim.........................Kayla Blake
Elliot........................Greg Baker
Chris.........Timothy Davis-Reed
Will..........................Ron Ostrow
Dave.....................Jeff Mooring
Sam................William H. Macy
J.J.................Robert Mailhouse
Mitchel.....................Tim Dekay
Tasker................Bari Hochwald
TEASER
INT. STUDIO/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT - (NIGHT 1)
(Dan, Casey, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot, Chris, Will,
Dave, Sam)
THE SHOW IS UNDERWAY--
DAN
Donovan McNabb was 14 for 19 passing
for a total of 163 yards and no
touchdowns. He also ran for 19 yards
in his second appearance for the
Eagles with--
DANA
Could the show be any stiffer tonight?
NATALIE
It's pretty stiff.
DANA
Yes it is.
JEREMY
It'll loosen up.
DANA
It can only loosen up, Jeremy, 'cause
I don't think it's possible for it to
be any stiffer.
DAVE
Stand by 55.
DANA
I thought last night was as bad as we
could get. But it turns out we had
unexplored potential for stiffness.
DAVE
Go 55.
CHRIS
No wait.
WILL
Go 55.
CHRIS
That's wrong.
DAVE
Now!
DANA
Dammit, Dave, get it together.
DAVE
Stand by 56.
DANA
That's what we need right now. We need
the control room to fall apart too.
That's just what the doctor ordered.
NATALIE
He's gotten in everyone's head.
DANA
Like a virus.
JEREMY
Or like a tiny electrode that's been
surgically placed in the cerebral
cortex in the middle of the night by,
like, I don't know, something from
Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
(PAUSE) More like a virus. (BEAT) See,
I'm totally off my game.
DANA
He gets his way.
NATALIE
No matter what, he seems to get his
way.
NATALIE
He does seem to be in control.
DANA
After a week.
KIM
Eight days.
DANA
Who cares. It took me two years to
figure out how to run this show.
He comes in here, he gets in our heads
like a virus, or like whatever it is
Jeremy said, and we're so stiff we're
making the McNeil-Lehrer Report look
like Woodstock.
SAM DONOVAN ENTERS--
SAM
Hey.
DANA
Good evening.
SAM
Show seems a little stiff tonight,
don't you think?
DANA
Yes I do.
SAM
Maybe even stiffer than last night.
DANA
I believe it is.
SAM
You know why?
NATALIE
'Cause you're freaking everyone out?
SAM
Could be.
DAVE
Stand by 57 and 58.
SAM
You know what I'd do if I were you?
DANA
Kill myself?
SAM
Nah. I'd whisper in their ear.
DANA
I beg your pardon?
SAM
The two of you. Whisper something in
their ear.
DANA
What are you talking about?
SAM
Men like the sound of a woman
whispering in their ear. They get
playful.
DANA
Why don't we just get 'em a lap dance?
SAM
We don't have that kinda time, but I
like your thinkin'.
DANA
Listen--
SAM
Whisper in their ear.
DANA
I am not whispering in their ear. Natalie
is not whispering in their ear--
KIM
If you want--
DANA
Kim is not whispering in their ear.
You've gotten everything you've
wanted. We've been totally
cooperative. But I'm afraid that from
eleven to twelve, this is my show, and
I'll deal with things the way I deal
with things.
SAM
Okay.
CHRIS
We're in commercial.
DAVE
Two minutes back.
DANA
Excuse me.
DANA GETS UP AND STOMPS INTO THE STUDIO--
DAN
I believe we're about to get a pep talk.
CASEY
Yeah.
DANA
(TO DANA AND CASEY) I've seen brighter
performances by inmates, you mind
telling me what the hell is going on?
DAN
We're--
DANA
I don't want to hear about it. This
show's supposed to be fun. You guys
sound like you're giving stock quotes.
Is there a reason I'm not aware of?
CASEY
We think--
DANA
Don't make your excuses. We've got 18
minutes of show left, and I'd like you
guys to start earning your money. Do
you have anything to say?
DAN
We should--
DANA
Good.
DANA GOES BACK INTO THE CONTROL ROOM. SAM, WHO'S KINDA
WANDERED IN BEHIND HER AND LINGERED IN BACK, STEPS TO THE
ANCHOR DESK. AS HE SPEAKS, HE'LL CASUALLY START TO SHUFFLE
SOME SCRIPT PAGES ON THE DESK.
SAM
Donna seems pretty mad.
CASEY
Dana.
SAM
Hm?
DAN
Her name is Dana, not Donna.
SAM
Is that right?
CASEY
Yes.
SAM
Dana's a better name.
CASEY
I'm sure she appreciates that.
SAM
You know what I think? I think my
presence in the studio and control
room is intimidating people, and I
think it's preventing you from doing
your best work. So I'm gonna go watch
the rest of the show in the newsroom.
CASEY
I'm sure Dana'll appreciate that too.
SAM WALKS AWAY, CASUALLY TAKING THE SCRIPT PAGES WITH HIM.
DAN
(TO CASEY) See? He's weakening. He
doesn't always get his way.
CASEY
Did he just take our script?
AS SAM WALKS BY A TABLE IN THE BACK, HE YANKS A PLUG FROM A
LAPTOP, FOLDS UP THE LAPTOP AND TAKES IT AWAY.
NATALIE
We just lost the TelePrompTer.
DANA
What?
ELLIOT
We lost the TelePrompTer.
DAVE
15 seconds back.
DANA
Casey/Dan, we lost the TelePrompTer,
work off your script.
DAN
Sam Donovan stole the script.
DANA
Well then. No problem. I'm in control.
Natalie and I will...feed you bullet
points. We'll whisper 'em in your ear.
DAVE
In three...two...
DAN
Welcome back...
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
(A)
INT. NEWSROOM/CORRIDORS/DAN AND CASEY'S OFFICE - MORNING -
(DAY 2)
(Day, Casey, Jeremy)
DAN AND JEREMY ARE WALKING--
JEREMY
I'm frightened every time I'm near him.
DAN
You gotta face that fear.
JEREMY
I know.
DAN
You gotta face it head on.
JEREMY
I shake.
DAN
It's the fear.
JEREMY
I lose my ability to speak. And you
know me, Dan, I'm a fairly smooth
conversationalist.
DAN
Yes.
JEREMY
Face the fear?
DAN
I'd face the fear.
JEREMY
You think it'll help?
DAN
No, but it'll give you something to
do.
JEREMY
Then I shall face it.
DAN
Excellent.
DAN CONTINUES INTO--
INT. DAN AND CASEY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS - (DAY 2)
CASEY IS LYING ON THE COUCH
CASEY
What's goin' on?
DAN
Jeremy's gonna face his fear.
CASEY
Yeah?
DAN
I think we should watch.
CASEY
You know, among the many unhappy by-
products of Sam Donovan's arrival, is
that it's taken attention from the
serious problem I'm having with Dana.
DAN
The dating plan.
CASEY
The dating plan.
DAN
Casey, don't kill for this, but I
gotta say something.
CASEY
What.
DAN
I'm not quite seeing the problem.
CASEY
You're not quite seeing the problem?
DAN
No.
CASEY
After 15 years of dancing around each
other, Dana and I are poised to start
a relationship, only she decides that
due to what she perceives as a limited
experience with women, she's requiring
me to date other people for six months
before I can date her.
DAN
Okay. Dude. First of all, it's not
just what Dana would perceive as a
limited experience with women, it's
what pretty much any jury of
reasonable people would perceive to be
a limited--
CASEY
So I got married young. I married my
college sweetheart. That doesn't make
me Okey from Fanokey.
DAN
No it doesn't, but using the
expression Okay from Fanokey sure does
the trick.
CASEY
I'm in pain here. I'm in anguish.
DAN
A woman you have strong feelings for,
you get to work with, side by side, for
twelve hours a day, six days a week. She
has told you, after a decade and a half,
that she's interested in a romantic
relationship with you, but that she
wants you to date other women. She's
requiring you to date other women. To be
with them on dates with their perfume
and their nice shoes while they try and
be as interesting to you as possible.
Because you are a television star, these
women, very likely, will not be from the
bargain basement. And because these
women won't know you very well, there
might just be an opportunity for you to
have sex. Now I grant you, somewhere,
somehow, Dana has obviously lost several
of her marbles, but I don't think that
should stop you from gettin' busy.
CASEY
I want Dana. I don't want a series of
meaningless relationships with women
who want to sleep with me because I'm
on television.
DAN
(PAUSE) I don't follow you.
CASEY
Danny--
DAN
I'm just saing--
CASEY
We got bigger problems.
DAN
I know.
CASEY
Shouldn't we be talkin' about them?
DAN
Let's just write, okay?
CASEY
Yeah.
CUT TO:
ACT ONE
(B)
INT. DANA'S OFFICE - 11:45 AM - (DAY 2)
(Dana, Natalie)
NATALIE IS SITTING ON THE COUCH AS DANA SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN.
THE CONVERSATION, DUE TO FRUSTRATION AND FRAYED NERVES, WILL
QUICKLY GET LOUD.
DANA
They're coming here.
NATALIE
When?
DANA
Eight o'clock.
NATALIE
They want to give notes.
DANA
Yeah.
NATALIE
Dana--
DANA
I konw.
NATALIE
The wheels are comin' off the wagon,
Dana.
DANA
I know.
NATALIE
They want to come give notes?
DANA
Yeah.
NATALIE
Just gather us up and give us some
notes.
DANA
They're very serious about it.
NATALIE
Who's coming, J.J. and the boys?
DANA
Yeah.
NATALIE
Good, 'cause they're qualified to tell
us how to write and produce a
television show given their many years
of experience neither writing nor
producing television shows.
DANA
What do you want from me, Natalie, we
work for a network.
NATALIE
How did this happen?
DANA
Look--
NATALIE
How did Sam Donovan happen? Why are we
getting network notes? How did this
place turn into a morgue so fast?
DANA
We're in third place, Natalie. We're
getting our asses kicked by ESPN and
Fox.
NATALIE
Those guys have been around forever,
we're three years old.
DANA
We're still in third place.
NATALIE
Every show on this network's in third
place. It's a third place network. It
doesn't mean we weren't doing the show
well.
DANA
Isaac had a stroke.
NATALIE
I know that. So what?
DANA
So I'm doing the best I can!
NATALIE
No one's blaming you.
DANA
Everyone's blaming me! And knowing me
as you do, Natalie, I thought you
might consider cutting me a little
slack!
DANA LEANS BACK AGAINST HER DESK AND RUBS HER EYES...
DANA (CONT'D)
Natalie, if this keeps up I've gotta
look seriously at some offers.
NATALIE
(BEAT) Really?
DANA
I can work anywhere I want. Who wants
to stay for this?
NATALIE
(PAUSE) Well you're not leaving me
here.
DANA
No.
NATALIE
You're taking me with you, Dana.
DANA
Of course.
NATALIE
I mean, I don't care if it's a station
in Altoona, you're taking me with you.
DANA
I'm taking you with me, I'm taking
you.
NATALIE
(PAUSE) Jeremy has to come too.
DANA
Fine.
NATALIE
And you're not gonna be happy unless
Casey's there.
DANA
Casey can come.
NATALIE
Casey needs Dan.
DANA
(BEAT) I know.
NATALIE
Nobody's blaming you, Dana.
DANA
(BEAT) We've got a run down meeting.
DANA AND NATALIE HEAD OUT THE DOOR AS WE
CUT TO:
ACT ONE
(C)
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - 12:00 NOON - (DAY 2)
(Dan, Casey, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot, Chris, Will,
Dave)
CASEY, DAN, JEREMY, KIM, ELLIOT, CHRIS, WILL AND DAVE ARE
SITTING AROUND THE TABLE. NOBODY'S TALKING.
DANA AND NATALIE ENTER. DANA PUTS HER PAPERS DOWN AND SITS IN
HER SPOT AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE.
DANA
That's what I like to see at the noon
run down: Some lively chatter. The
place is alive with energy and ideas.
Ah, the creative process.
JEREMY
Dana--
DANA
Stow it. Let's take care of business.
ELLIOT
There's a memo from building
maintenance that one of the legs on
the craft service table is wobbly, and
we should be careful while getting
ourselves food.
DANA
(LONG PAUSE) What?
ELLIOT
There's a memo from building
maintenance.
DANA
That one of the legs on the craft
service table is wobbly?
ELLIOT
Yeah.
THERE'S A LONG SILENCE BEFORE EVERYONE SIMPLY BREAKS UP
LAUGHING. A WEEK'S WORTH OF TENSION IS EXPLODING IN WAVES OF
GALLOWS LAUGHTER.
DANA
(THROUGH HER LAUGHTER) Elliot...this
show is sinking like a slab of
granite. I've never seen something so
good fall apart so fast. It's almost
hard to believe there aren't senior
members of the Dukakis campaign
involved with this. I don't think a
wobbly leg on the craft service
table...
DANA'S LAUGHING SO HARD SHE CAN'T FINISH THE SENTENCE...
DAN
(STILL LAUGHING) I disagree, I think
we gotta get right on it.
CASEY
The show's important, but first things
first: There are bagels on that table.
WILL
And very good danish.
CHRIS
We gotta secure the coffee.
DAVE
Absolutely.
THE LAUGHTER DIES DOWN ALMOST AS QUICKLY AS IT STARTED. THEY
SIT IN SILENCE FOR A MOMENT AS THE REALITY OF THEIR SITUATION
TAKES OVER AGAIN.
DANA
J.J. and some people from the network
want to meet with us at--
DAN
I knew it.
DANA
--at eight o'clock, they want to give
us some notes.
DAN
Oh man.
DANA
Danny--
DAN
The network wants to give us notes.
DANA
Yes.
DAN
I thought we were finished with that.
DANA
Apparently not.
DAN
And may I ask--
DANA
No.
DANA
May I ask what you're doing about
this?
DANA
I'm having them arrested, Danny. I'm
telling their parents, I'm telling the
teacher, I'm gonna go to my room and
lock the door.
DAN
I'd accept any of those before I'd
believe you'd just show these people
in.
DANA
I'm doing the best I can.
DAN
The fact that that might be true
absolutely terrifies me.
NATALIE
Danny--
DANA
You've turned into a malcontent,
Danny.
DAN
And you've turned into a secretary,
Dana.
CASEY
Hey!
DANA
(GETTING UP) Let's do this later.
NATALIE
It's okay, we can--
DANA
Meeting's over.
DANA'S OUT THE DOOR. EVERYONE STARTS TO GET UP...
CASEY
That was nice, man.
DAN EXITS, THEN CASEY, ALONG WITH ELLIOT, KIM, CHRIS, WILL
AND DAVE.
NATALIE AND JEREMY ARE LEFT IN THE ROOM...
JEREMY
(AFTER A MOMENT) We're in trouble.
NATALIE
I know.
THEY STAND THERE A MOMENT WITH NOTHING LEFT TO SAY, BEFORE
THEY EXIT OUT SEPARATE DOORS.
WE HOLD ON THE EMPTY ROOM A MOMENT BEFORE WE--
FADE TO BLACK
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
(D)
INT. CRAFT SERVICE TABLE - DAY - (DAY 2)
(Jeremy, Sam, Atmosphere)
JEREMY IS SURVEYING THE FOOD WHEN SAM COMES UP ALONGSIDE HIM.
SAM DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING, BUT STARTS TO PUT TOGETHER A LITTLE
PLATE FOR HIMSELF.
JEREMY
(AFTER A MOMENT) Hello.
SAM
Hi.
JEREMY
I was gonna get myself a snack.
SAM
Okay.
JEREMY
I can come back later.
SAM
Okay.
JEREMY TAKES A FEW STEPS AWAY, THEN TURNS BACK--
JEREMY
No. I'm going to face my fear.
SAM
Okay.
JEREMY
I'm going to stand right here and make
a sandwich. Why? Because I'm hungry.
And while I'm making my sandwich, I'm
going to talk to you. Why? To face my
fear. So here I go. I've got some
bread, and on it I place some turkey,
like so, a lettuce leaf for roughage--
and notice how all the while I'm
talking to you no problem--a little
mustard? Absolutely. Some potato
chips? Don't mind if I do. There. Not
only have I faced my fear, I have
conquered it.
AND JEREMY PUTS THE PERIOD ON THE SENTENCE BY SLAPPING THE
TABLE IN TRIUMPH, WHICH SENDS THE CRAFT SERVICE TABLE AND ALL
ITS CONTENTS CRASHING TO THE GROUND.
JEREMY AND SAM STARE AT THE WRECKAGE FOR A MOMENT...
JEREMY (CONT'D)
We were talking before about making
that wobbly leg a priority.
SAM
Okay.
SAM WALKS OFF WITH HIS PLATE OF FOOD, LEAVING JEREMY STANDING
THERE AS WE
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
(E)
INT. DANA'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON - (DAY 2)
(Dan, Casey, Dana)
DANA SITS AT HER DESK WHEN THERE'S A KNOCK ON THE DOOR--
DANA
Who is it?
DAN
I have some gifts for you.
DANA
That wasn't necessary.
DAN OPENS THE DOOR AND STEPS IN. HE'S CARRYING A GROCERY BAG.
DAN
I think it was. You once took a
vacation in Napa and visited a small
vineyard there. You said you tried
some wine that you loved and you've
never been able to find it anywhere. I
thought I remembered the name but I
wasn't sure.
DAN TAKES A BOTTLE OF WINE OUT OF THE BAG...
DAN (CONT'D)
Is this it?
DANA TAKES THE BOTTLE OF WINE AND LOOKS AT IT...
DANA
(QUIETLY) Yes.
DAN
Good. I always like wine and cheese.
DANA
I know.
DAN
I wanted to get you some cheese.
There's a great cheese place over on
Second Avenue. I went over there after
I got the wine, but it's gone. There's
a hardware store there now.
DANA
That's okay.
DAN
(REACHING INTO THE BAD AND SHOWING
HER) I got you some spackle.
DANA LAUGHS. IT'S BETTER THAN CRYING.
DANA
Thank you.
DAN
I'm sorry.
DANA
I'm sorry, too.
CASEY TAPS ON THE OPEN DOOR--
CASEY
Hey.
DANA
Hey.
CASEY
Everything all right?
DAN
Yeah. I'm lookin' at tape.
DANA
See you later.
DAN EXITS...
CASEY
You got some wine?
DANA
And some spackle.
CASEY
(BEAT) You needed spackle?
DANA
No. But, you know, it's good to have
around.
CASEY
How you feeling?
DANA
Terrible.
CASEY
I've got an idea.
DANA
What?
CASEY
You're gonna say it's against the
rules, but I think it's a really good
idea.
DANA
What?
CASEY
Let's go on a date tonight.
DANA
I think that's a great idea.
CASEY
But.
DANA
It's against the rules.
CASEY
Yeah, yeah.
DANA
Maybe today's not the best day to talk
about it.
CASEY
No.
DANA
Thanks.
CASEY
Hey, is there anything I can do for
you?
DANA
You can stay cool during the notes
meeting. Keep Danny in his chair, too.
CASEY
Yeah.
DANA
We've gotta remember it wasn't the
network who brought in Sam Donovan, it
was Isaac. That makes things a little
more--
CASEY
Yeah.
DANA
Thanks.
CASEY
I was talking to Danny about the
dating plan--
DANA
And he thinks you should be psyched.
CASEY
Yeah. Which I thought was crazy, but
maybe I'm the one who's--
DANA
Casey, I want you to date other women.
I don't want you to enjoy it.
CASEY
Ah.
DANA
You see?
CASEY
Not really. Maybe you could explain
it better to me if we had a date
tonight.
DANA
I want us to have a real chance.
CASEY
I understand.
DANA
Do you?
CASEY
No, but what choice do I have?
DANA GIVES HIM A SOFT KISS...
DANA
None.
CASEY
I didn't think so.
DANA
You'll stay quiet with the network?
CASEY
Yeah.
DANA
And Danny too?
CASEY
Yeah.
DANA
Thanks.
CASEY EXITS AS WE...
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
(H)
INT. ISAAC'S OFFICE/EXECUTIVE CORRIDOR - MAGIC HOUR -
(NIGHT 2)
(Isaac, J.J., Sam, Mitchel, Tasker)
A BRIEF MEETING IS ABOUT TO GET STARTED. ISAAC IS BEHIND HIS
DESK. J.J., AS WELL AS TWO OTHERS, MITCHEL AND TASKER, ARE
THERE. SAM ENTERS AND WILL LEAN AGAINST THE WINDOW AND
NOT
REALLY PARTICIPATE MUCH IN THE MEETING.
ISAAC
J.J., you know Sam Donovan?
J.J.
We haven't met yet. It's a pleasure.
SAM
Hi.
J.J.
This is Ray Mitchel, director of
program development.
MITCHEL
Hi.
J.J.
And Billy Tasker senior V.P. of
current programming.
TASKER
Hi.
SAM
Hi.
J.J.
Isaac, we know you're busy, so we'll
cut to the chase. Sports Night's been
underachieving. It's not an
exaggeration at this point to say the
network's concern is extreme. Ray and
Billy have been writing memos and
giving notes to the staff for a year,
and they've fallen on deaf ears. It's
simply time for us to step in.
ISAAC
I'm sorry you feel that way.
J.J.
Excuse me?
ISAAC
I said I'm sorry you feel that way.
That the notes have fallen on deaf
ears. I've always felt they were given
their due consideration.
J.J.
They weren't.
ISAAC
You mean because we didn't take them.
J.J.
Excuse me?
ISAAC
I'm sorry, with a stroke your diction
is the first to go.
J.J.
Yes.
ISAAC
I don't mind not being able to get
around fast, but I do miss language.
J.J.
You were saying?
ISAAC
I was saying that just because we
didn't execute all the network's
suggestions, doesn't mean we weren't
listening, it just means we didn't
agree. (BEAT) You didn't expect me to
substitute your judgement for mine,
did you J.J.?
J.J.
Not then, no.
ISAAC
But now.
J.J.
Yes.
ISAAC
(PAUSE) Will it keep everyone here
from losing their jobs?
J.J.
I don't understand.
ISAAC
If I allow you three to go in there
and mess with my show...will it keep
my staff from losing their jobs?
J.J.
I can't make promises.
ISAAC
J.J.?
J.J.
Yeah.
ISAAC
I've never liked you.
J.J.
I know.
ISAAC
We're done.
J.J., MITCHEL AND TASKER GET UP...
J.J.
Sam, can we see you a second outside?
SAM GETS UP AND FOLLOWS THEM INTO--
INT. EXECUTIVE CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 2)
J.J. LEADS THEM DOWN THE HALL A LITTLE BIT SO THAT THEY'RE
NOT STANDING RIGHT OUTSIDE ISAAC'S DOOR.
J.J. (CONT'D)
It doesn't seem like he's recovering
as fast as we'd hoped.
SAM
Really?
TASKER
Yeah.
SAM
You guys want to exert more control
over the show, right?
MITCHEL
Yeah.
SAM
Then it seems like he's recovering
exactly as fast as you'd hoped.
J.J.
(BEAT) I think our point was that he's
no longer able to do the job.
TASKER
To tell you the truth, it's not clear
that he was ever able to do the job. He
was a bit of a sentimental choice, but--
J.J.
What we're saying is that for whatever
reason, you seem to able to exert some
authority around here, and we like the
idea of a more sales-oriented
executive at the top of the pyramid,
so we were hoping that when things
settled down here, you'd consider
sitting down and talking to Luther
Sachs about making it permanent.
SAM
(PAUSE) Was there anything else?
J.J.
No.
SAM
(BEAT) Okay.
J.J. AND THE BOYS DON'T QUITE KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS ODD
MAN, BUT THEY SAY--
J.J.
Okay.
TASKER
Great.
MITCHEL
Good to meet you.
THEY GO OFF AS WE
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
(J)
INT. ISAAC'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 2)
(Isaac, Sam)
ISAAC IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW AND LOOKING OUT AS
SAM STEPS BACK IN.
ISAAC
This is my favorite time of day, and
my favorite time of year in New York.
SAM
Mine too.
ISAAC
Did they offer you my job?
SAM
No. They were talking to me about some
numbers I'd put together on the mid-
West. The small market teams--
ISAAC
Don't lie to me, Sam.
SAM
(PAUSE) They offered me your job.
ISAAC
(PAUSE) You should play ball with 'em,
son. You shouldn't mess 'em around.
You could have a big future at this
network.
SAM
I appreciate the advice.
ISAAC
Don't brush me off. I know you like
being a gunslinger. Bopping from job
to job. But you're better than that
and you know it. Also, you're a grown
man now and you don't have 30 cents in
your pocket.
SAM
Yeah.
ISAAC
Think about what I said.
SAM
Are you going to this meeting?
ISAAC
Nah. I'm gonna go sit in the control
room and watch a color test.
SAM
You're the Managing Editor, you're
gonna sit in the control room and
watch a color test?
ISAAC
I feel like doing something that has
something to do with television.
SAM
Okay.
SAM EXITS AND ISAAC GOES BACK TO THE WINDOW AS WE
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
(K)
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM/NEWSROOM/CORRIDORS/STUDIO/CONTROL ROOM -
NIGHT - (NIGHT 2)
(Dan, Casey, Isaac, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot,
Chris, Will, Dave, J.J., Sam, Mitchel, Tasker)
CASEY, DAN, DANA, JEREMY, NATALIE, ELLIOT, KIM, CHRIS, WILL,
AND DAVE ARE SEATED AROUND THE TABLE, BEING TALKED TO BY
J.J., TASKER AND MITCHEL.
TASKER
See? And that gets us back to the same
thing we were talking about with Note
22 on Page 6.
MITCHEL
It really all boils down to the same
thing.
J.J.
Not all, but--
MITCHEL
No, but we're saying--and I think I
speak for all of us--
J.J.
Yes.
TASKER
But that the problem's in the writing.
J.J.
And when we say that, you should bear
in mind that we're huge fans of yours.
TASKER
Yes.
MITCHEL
We appreciate the style--
TASKER
Absolutely.
MITCHEL
But you gotta remember that not
everyone is as smart as we are.
J.J.
We want you guys to write the show
more like--who?
TASKER
Keith and Kenny are a good example.
J.J.
Yes.
MITCHEL
Or Craig.
TASKER
Yeah.
J.J.
Now we've been sending you their
scripts and we've been making notes
and we've been talking to you 'till
we're blue in the face and--
DANA
They've been trying.
J.J.
No they haven't, Dana.
DANA
I'd like to do the rest of this
meeting in my office, please. This
isn't fair to the staff.
TASKER
We find that when we give the notes to
you, they don't make their way to the
staff.
JEREMY
That's not true. She--
DANA HOLDS A HAND UP INDICATING TO JEREMY THAT IT'S OKAY.
DANA
J.J., Dan and Casey are professional
writers. They're not waiters in a
restaurant. You can't tell them what
you'd like and how you'd like it
prepared.
J.J.
This show is bought and paid for by
my network, Dana. I'm afraid that's
exactly what I can do.
DANA
I'll ask you again. Please. Let's have
this meeting in my office.
J.J.
And I'm telling you we're past that.
DANA
J.J., I was hoping this meeting would
go differently. I was prepared to eat
whatever I had to for Isaac's sake,
and I asked the senior staff to do the
same, which, by the way, is the only
reason why Dan, Casey, Jeremy, Elliot,
Chris, Will and Dave haven't beaten
the crap outta you guys by now. I've
changed my mind. At this point you
have two choices: Fire me or shut the
hell up.
J.J.
Dana, sad to say, your attitude over
these past three years combined with
these totally unacceptable ratings make
that a very easy choice for us to--
DAN
Hang on.
J.J.
Look--
CASEY
Yeah.
J.J.
What.
DAN
We can try harder.
DANA
Danny--
CASEY
We can.
DAN
Nobody needs to lose their job over
this. We can try harder.
CASEY
Let's get to the rest of the notes.
THERE'S A LONG TENSE SILENCE IN THE ROOM...
J.J.
(TO TASKER) Get to the rest of the
notes.
TASKER
(BEAT) Turning to page--
DANA
Let's take five.
J.J.
Dana--
DANA
Please.
J.J.
We're getting through these notes.
DANA
Do what you want, but for five
minutes, you're talking to an empty
room. (TO HER STAFF) Take five.
EVERYONE BUT THE NETWORK GUYS GETS UP AND LEAVES THE ROOM.
J.J.
Unbelievable.
TASKER
I'm losing my patience for this, J.J.
THE DOOR OPENS AND SAM ENTERS--
SAM
Hey.
J.J.
Hi, Sam.
SAM
How's it goin'?
J.J.
It's going fine.
SAM
I just came in here to get some
coffee.
J.J.
There's coffee at the Craft Service
table.
SAM
Hmm, not so much. I'm sorry, is it Jim-
Bob?
J.J.
J.J.
SAM
Really?
J.J.
Yeah.
SAM
I thought it was Jim-Bob.
J.J.
No.
SAM
Take a walk with me, would ya?
J.J.
Where?
SAM
It's a surprise.
SAM HEADS OUT THE DOOR AND THE OTHERS FOLLOW HIM INTO--
INT. NEWSROOM/CORRIDORS/STUDIO - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 2)
SAM (CONT'D)
Do you guys know who Philo Farnsworth was?
J.J.
(BEAT) Philo Farnsworth?
SAM
Yeah.
J.J.
What's going on?
SAM
He invented television. I don't mean he
invented television like Uncle Milty, I
mean he invented the television.
THEY'VE ARRIVED IN THE STUDIO AND SAM STANDS BY THE ANCHOR
DESK.
SAM (CONT'D)
In a little house in Provo, Utah. At a time
when the idea of transmitting moving
pictures through the air would be like me
saying I've figured out a way to beam us
aboard the Starship Enterprise.
J.J.
Yeah, look--
SAM
He was a visionary and he died broke
and without fanfare. The guy I really
like though was his brother-in-law,
Cliff Gardner. He said to Philo, "I
know everyone thinks you're crazy, but
I want to be a part of this. I don't
have your head for science, so I'm not
gonna be much help with the design and
mechanics of the invention. But it
sounds like in order to do your
testing, you're gonna need glass
tubes."
TASKER
J.J., I don't think there's really--
SAM
See Philo was inventing a cathode
receptor, and even though Cliff didn't
know what that meant or how it worked,
he'd seen Philo's drawing and he knew
they were gonna need glass tubes and
since television hadn't been invented
yet, it's not like you could get 'em
at the local TV repair shop.
"I want to be a part of this", Cliff
said, "and I don't have your head for
science. How would it be if I taught
myself to be a glassblower? And I
could set up a little shop in the
backyard.
And I could make all the tubes you'll
need for testing." (BEAT) There oughta
be Congressional medals for people
like that.
MITCHEL
Maybe so--
SAM
I've looked over the notes you've beeng
iving over the last year or so, and I
have to say that they exhibit an
almost total lack of understanding of
how to get the best from talented
people.
TASKER
Excuse me, but--
SAM
I've also read pieces that Dan and
Casey have published in magazines from
Sports Illustrated to The New Yorker,
and it's hard for me to understand why
anyone would want them to write like
Keith or Kenny or Craig. We're gonna
ask Dan and Casey to write like Dan
and Casey for a while, see if that
doesn't help us out.
MITCHEL
I don't think it's up to you to
decide--
SAM
Day to day creative decisions'll be
made by the show's Executive Producer,
Dana Whitaker. She's the most capable
and interesting producers I've met in
live television and if she goes
someplace else she'll bury you.
TASKER
Mr. Donovan--
SAM
Her two chief associates could easily
have the top spot on another staff.
The crazy guy-- Jeremy-- If you asked
him where he lived, I don't think he
could tell you within three streets.
He never goes home. The brunette?
Natalie? She prays before a show. She
doesn't know I've seen her, but I
have. I think it's nice, but she
needn't bother. There's nothing anyone
can do for her that she's not capable
of doing for herself. You said before
that for whatever reason, I seem to be
able to exert authority around here. I
assure you, it isn't because they like
me. It's because they knew two minutes
after I walked in the door that I'm
somebody who knows how to do
something. I can help. I can make
glass tubes. That's what they need.
One last thing: The first and last
decision making authority on this show
will rest with Isaac Jaffee until
Isaac Jaffee says otherwise. And if
you disrespect him again in my
presence, I'll re-dedicate the rest of
my life to ruining the rest of yours.
If you think I'm just mouthin' at you,
ask around about me, I have absolutely
no conscience about these things.
J.J.
Sam, why did you bring us out here?
SAM
'Cause the exit's right there. That's
all. The meeting's over.
SAM TURNS AND HEAD BACK VIA
INT. CONTROL ROOM - CONTINUOUS - (NIGHT 2)
ISAAC (OS)
You're a lunatic, you know that?
SAM TURNS AND SEES ISAAC SITTING IN A CHAIR AT THE CONTROL
PANEL.
SAM
(BEAT) You were watching?
ISAAC HOLDS UP A PAIR OF HEADPHONES AND MOTIONS TO THE PANEL
OF MONITORS...
ISAAC
The color test.
SAM
Yeah...well...
ISAAC
(MOTIONING TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM) You
should've said it in front of them.
SAM
(BEAT) It's not what I do.
ISAAC
Okay.
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
(L)
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT - (NIGHT 2)
(Dan, Casey, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot, Chris, Will,
Dave, Sam)
THE GROUP HAS RE-ASSEMBLED AS SAM WALKS IN.
DANA
Where's J.J.?
SAM
They're gone. I don't have to like
you, you don't have to like me. I have
two priorities. The first is getting
from the beginning of the day to the
end of the day without having a drink.
The second is raising this show's
ratings to the point where it's no
longer in danger of what almost
happened here today. Trust me and I
won't make fools outta you.
SAM EXITS...
DANA
Well...let's do the show.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF SHOW