"The Cut Man Cometh"
Written by
Bill Wrubel
and
Aaron Sorkin
Directed by
Alex Graves
UPDATED FINAL 11/22/99
SPORTS NIGHT
"The Cut Man Cometh"
#N334
Cast
Dan........................Josh Charles
Casey.....................Peter Krause
Isaac..............Robert Guillaume
Dana................Felicity Huffman
Jeremy....................Josh Malina
Natalie.................Sabrina Lloyd
Kim.........................Kayla Blake
Elliot........................Greg Baker
Chris.........Timothy Davis-Reed
Will..........................Ron Ostrow
Dave.....................Jeff Mooring
Chuck...................Allen Garfield
Mike......................James Edson
Jay.........................Peter Reigert
SPORTS NIGHT
(TEASER)
INT. CONTROL ROOM/STUDIO - NIGHT - (NIGHT 1)
(Dan, Casey, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot, Chris, Will
Dave, Atmosphere)
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOW--
CASEY
...With his superior reach and much
ballyhooed punching power, Willis has
been the second best light heavyweight
in the world over the last two years.
Tomorrow night could he become the
best? Mike Greenwey is live at Bally's
Park Place in Atlantic City. Mike?
DAVE
We're out.
ELLIOT
Two minutes back.
DAN AND CASEY ARE MOCK SPARRING.
CASEY
What's this?
DAN
Left jab.
CASEY
What's this?
DAN
Left jab.
CASEY
What's this?
DAN
Left jab. Are you ever gonna--
CASEY
What's this?
DAN
Straight right.
CASEY
Lulled you to sleep with the left jab,
knocked you out with the crushing
right.
CASEY THROWS A PUNCH.
DAN
What the hell was that?
CASEY
It's a haymaker.
DAN
That's a haymaker?
CASEY
Yeah.
DAN
I actually never knew that. You know
why?
CASEY
Why?
DAN
Because nobody ever throws a haymaker.
CASEY
Steven Green does.
DAN
Who's Steven Green?
CASEY
Kid who beat me up in third grade.
DAN
He threw a haymaker?
CASEY
Gave me a fat lip.
DAN
With a haymaker?
CASEY
Yeah.
DAN
Shoulda seen it coming.
CASEY
He also kicked, and, you know, there's
no defense for that.
NATALIE
(INTO MIC) Dan, did you see tomorrow's
revised schedule?
DAN
No.
NATALIE
I put it on your desk.
DAN
I'll take a look at it.
NATALIE
We're gonna prep the pre-fight
coverage at four--
DAN
I'll take a look at it.
NATALIE
And we're gonna do a supplemental
rundown at five, that's gonna be--
DAN
Natalie?
NATALIE
Yeah.
DAN
There's a schedule on my desk?
NATALIE
Yeah.
DAN
I'll look at it.
NATALIE
Thank you.
DAN
That girl generates a lot of
paperwork.
NATALIE
I heard that.
DAN
You generate a lot of paperwork. Maybe
too much.
NATALIE
Maybe you generate a little too much--
(TO DANA) Gimme something.
DANA
Hot air.
NATALIE
(INTO MIC) Hot air.
DAN
I think you majored in paperwork.
NATALIE
No, actually I majored in-- (SNAPS A
FEW TIMES AT DANA)
DANA
Kicking his ass.
NATALIE
(INTO MIC) Kicking your ass.
DAN
I can still make you cry, you know.
NATALIE
I know.
DANA
Natalie, are we there?
NATALIE
Yeah.
DANA
These guys know everything they're
supposed to know? They're gonna be hot
tomorrow night?
NATALIE
Sure.
DANA
I'm asking are they ready.
NATALIE
If they're not, they'll only have
themselves to blame.
DANA
That may be so, but I'll have you to
blame, so make sure they're in gear.
NATALIE
Yeah.
CASEY
Who knows more than we do about
boxing?
DAN
Boxers.
CASEY
Besides them.
DAN
Boxing experts.
CASEY
Besides them.
DAN
Boxing fans.
CASEY
Besides them.
DAN
No one.
CASEY
Damn straight.
DANA
30 seconds in.
CASEY
We're gonna nail this.
DAN
Okay.
CASEY
We're gonna stick the landing.
DAN
Sound on one.
WILL
Sound.
DAN
Thank you.
CASEY
You know why?
DAN
Why?
CASEY
'Cause we're game day players. Like
the gladiators of old.
DAN
Okay.
CASEY
Ow!
DAN
What.
CASEY
(HOLDING UP HIS FINGER) Paper cut.
DAN
You all right.
CASEY
I'm gonna play through it.
DAN
Okay.
CASEY
I play with pain.
DAVE
In three...two--
CASEY
We're back.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
(A)
EXT. CSC BUILDING EST. - NOON - (DAY 2)
INT. STUDIO/CORRIDOR/NEWSROOM/DAN AND CASEY'S OFFICE - DAY -
(DAY 2)
(Dan, Jay, Atmosphere)
DAN IN WAITING IN THE STUDIO AREA AS HIS FATHER, JAY,
COMES IN.
DAN
Dad.
JAY
Hey, Danny.
THEY HUG, DAN A LITTLE MORE WARMLY THAN HIS FATHER.
DAN
Was there traffic?
JAY
I took the Deegan to the Cross Bronx.
I was fine.
DAN
They just ordered a bunch of pizzas,
can ya stay around a little bit?
JAY
I'm double-parked down there.
DAN
Okay. You know I don't think you've
been here since we moved into the new
studio.
JAY
I think I have.
THEY START WALKING TOWARD DAN'S OFFICE.
INT. CORRIDOR/NEWSROOM - CONTINUOUS
DAN
This one's like twice as big as the
old one, Dad. The old one was like
cable access. See, all these people
working wouldn't normally be here
today. This is just for the special
coverage.
JAY
Of what?
DAN
(PAUSE) Of the fight. Dad I told you
about this.
JAY
I'm sorry, Danny.
DAN
This is a big deal here. CSC bought a
very expensive match and it's the
kinda thing that puts us--the ratings
tracking, for instance, has us at a
4.1, which is about twice the size of
our usual audience. It's about four
and half million households.
THEY WALK INTO--
INT. DAN AND CASEY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
JAY
Four and a half million isn't that
many, is it?
DAN
It's a lot for cable.
JAY
Don't the big shows get about 20
million?
DAN
Those shows aren't on cable.
JAY
Before you said you weren't on cable.
DAN
Cable access. That's something
different.
JAY
Danny, I'm sorry, I'm double-parked
downstairs.
DAN
Sure.
DAN OPENS A DESK DRAWER AND TAKES OUT A TICKET ENVELOPE.
DAN (CONT'D)
These'll get you into everything.
There's a pre-fight VIP thing that I
think you'd like, a post-fight party,
where, by the way, you can watch me on
television--
JAY
(EXAMINING THE TICKETS) These are
ringside.
DAN
That's right.
JAY
I don't need to sit that close.
DAN
What are you kidding me?
JAY
I like to sit further back.
DAN
Dad--
JAY
Danny, I don't like strutting around
and showing off like I'm a big shot.
DAN
(BEAT) It's not showing off, Dan, it's
just, you know, those are the tickets
they give me. I'm a fairly important
person in sports tonight.
JAY
Can you see if they can trade these?
If they can move 'em back?
DAN
Yeah, we'll see if they can scare up
anybody who wants to sit ringside.
JAY
You don't have to get pissy with me,
Danny.
DAN
I wasn't, Dad.
JAY
Listen. Thank you for the tickets. You
shouldn't wear your hair so short,
you're starting to look a little bit
gay.
DAN
Well thanks for that fashion tip, Dad,
coming from you that's really
something.
JAY
I'm double-parked.
DAN
Okay.
JAY EXITS. WE HOLD ON DAN A MOMENT BEFORE WE
CUT TO:
ACT ONE
(B)
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - 2:00 PM - (DAY 2)
(Isaac, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Atmosphere)
DANA'S CONFERRING WITH ISAAC AND NATALIE.
DANA
If the fight goes eight rounds or
longer we're fine. Any less than that,
Dan and Casey have to fill.
ISAAC
So Dan and Casey fill.
DANA
I'm saying they can fill if it goes
more than eight rounds. Under that--
ISAAC
Under that, they'll fill longer.
DANA
You're being pretty casual about this.
ISAAC
I trust Dan and Casey.
DANA
On boxing?
ISAAC
Yes.
DANA
Okay, well while you trust Dan and
Casey, I'll be over here doing my job.
ISAAC
Dana--
DANA
Is there anything we can do to make
the fight go longer?
ISAAC
I don't believe there is, no.
NATALIE
We could fix it.
ISAAC
Yeah.
NATALIE
Couldn't we fix the fight?
ISAAC
Sure.
NATALIE
I wonder how that works. You think you
contact the boxer directly, or the
boxer's manager--
ISAAC
You could probably do it through the
Mafia.
NATALIE
I suppose.
JEREMY COMES IN--
JEREMY
Dana.
DANA
Yes.
JEREMY
Tim Turner's sick. He can't work
tonight.
DANA
He's sick?
JEREMY
Yeah.
DANA
How sick?
JEREMY
Sick enough that he can't work
tonight.
DANA
Who's the replacement.
JEREMY
A guy I've never heard of, which is
saying something.
DANA
Does he have a name?
JEREMY
Yes.
DANA
What is it?
JEREMY
Who care, I haven't heard of him.
DANA
Jeremy--
JEREMY
Chuck Kimmel.
DANA
Chuck Kimmel?
ISAAC
(LAUGHING) You're kidding.
JEREMY
No, who is he?
DANA
The Cut Man.
JEREMY
The Cut Man?
ISAAC
The Cut Man.
JEREMY
Well he was already in Atlantic City.
DANA
I assume drunk and asleep at the
slots.
JEREMY
As a matter of fact he was. Who's the
Cut Man?
ISAAC
He claims he was a cornerman for Rocky
Marciano.
DANA
He's never met Rocky Marciano.
ISAAC
He gave himself the name Cut Man.
JEREMY
Can't give yourself a nickname.
ISAAC
Don't I know it.
DANA
All right, moving on.
ISAAC
You don't think I'd like to be called
The Hammer?
DANA
Isaac--
ISAAC
I would, Dana. I'd like to be called
The Hammer. You know why I'm not?
DANA
You can't give yourself a nickname?
ISAAC
You can't give yourself a nickname.
DANA
Okay--
ISAAC
Also, that one's taken.
JEREMY
That's right.
ISAAC
Hank Aaron.
DANA
The Supplemental rundown--
ISAAC
Hammerin' Hank.
DANA
Yes.
ISAAC
Nickname? Taken.
NATALIE
You could be another tool, Isaac.
ISAAC
Like what?
NATALIE
Phillips head screwdriver.
ISAAC
I don't know.
NATALIE
Pliers?
DANA
Natalie--
ISAAC
Okay.
DANA
Tell you what, why don't we stretch
our legs and do this in a half-hour.
JEREMY
Should I be talking to Kimmel?
DANA
Please. (TO NATALIE) Go make sure
Casey and Dan are doing what they're
supposed to be doing.
NATALIE
Sure. (TO ISAAC) How 'bout "Hammer"?
DANA
Natalie--
NATALIE
Wait, no, that one's taken.
ISAAC
It is.
DANA
Go.
NATALIE EXITS.
DANA (CONT'D)
I'll tighten up the rundown, we'll
show it to you in an hour.
ISAAC
Dana?
DANA
Yeah.
ISAAC
Big night for us. I need your best
show.
DANA
(BEAT) What's that mean?
ISAAC
Whatever's bothering you, leave it
outside.
DANA EXITS.
CUT TO:
ACT ONE
(C)
INT. EDITING ROOM - DAY - (DAY 2)
(Dan, Casey, Jeremy)
DAN AND CASEY ARE STUDYING TAPE.
DAN
See?
CASEY
Yeah.
DAN
He takes 'em to the ropes--
CASEY
--and that lowers his center of
gravity?
DAN
Yeah, and that's important, 'cause
he's givin' up twelve pounds.
CASEY
Let's talk about that tonight.
DAN
Yeah.
CASEY
When's your Dad coming?
DAN
My Dad?
CASEY
When's he comin' by?
DAN
He was already here.
CASEY
I'm sorry I missed him.
DAN
Yeah, he was too.
CASEY
Is he psyched for the fight?
DAN
Yeah.
CASEY
Is he psyched you're covering the
fight?
DAN
Oh man, you know. He's a huge fight
fan, so, you know, me covering this
fight is like...he can die happy now.
CASEY
Great.
JEREMY ENTERS CARRYING A BOOK--
JEREMY
Hello.
CASEY
Hey.
JEREMY
This you're gonna love. This is maybe
the most important piece of boxing
writing ever done.
CASEY
And what with all the important pieces
of boxing writing to choose from--
JEREMY
The Marquis (PRONOUNCED "KEECE") of
Queensberry Rules.
DAN
Marquis. (PRONOUNCED "KEY")
JEREMY
Keece.
DAN
Really?
JEREMY
Yes.
CASEY
Might be "Marquez."
JEREMY
It's Marquis. (PRONOUNCED "KEECE")
The Marquis of Queensberry rules.
Written by?
CASEY
The Marquis of Queensberry?
JEREMY
No, boxing-boy. John Graham Chambers.
CASEY
Why's it called the Marquis of
Queensberry Rules?
JEREMY
It's a mystery.
DAN
That one'll keep me up at night.
JEREMY
Read the book before tonight.
JEREMY EXITS.
CASEY
(LOOKING AT THE BOOK) "The Rules of
Boxing". (BEAT) You know how many
rules there are in boxing?
DAN
Twelve.
CASEY
There are twelve.
DAN
I suppose it's not the most
complicated sport in the world.
CASEY
Not complicated, but complex.
DAN
My father and I had a thing when we
watched boxing. He'd sit in his chair
and I'd sit on the floor next to him.
CASEY
You didn't have a chair?
DAN
No.
CASEY
What about your mom's chair?
DAN
This wasn't All in the Family, Casey,
there was a chair and a couch.
CASEY
Why wouldn't you sit on the couch?
DAN
I had root beer. He had regular beer
and I had root beer but we both had
'em in mugs.
CASEY
And you didn't sit on the sofa 'cause
you might spill the root beer.
DAN
(BEAT) I was little then. And the mug
was...you know...
CASEY
Anyway, it's great that you made him
happy today.
DAN
Yeah.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
(D)
INT. DAN AND CASEY'S OFFICE - 4:00 - (DAY 2)
(Casey, Jeremy, Natalie)
CASEY'S AT HIS DESK AND JEREMY IS LYING ON THE COUCH
READING AND TAKING NOTES.
JEREMY
(READING) "Before beginning real work,
every man should take mild doses of
physic to work on the bowels."
CASEY LOOKS UP AND STARES AT JEREMY...
CASEY
What?
JEREMY
That's what this says. It's from
Professor Michael J. Donovan, who was
the third middleweight champion, and
the first to really capture the
public's imagination. Later he became
the boxing instructor at the New York
Athletic Club, and his essay on fight
preparation is pretty much considered
the gold standard.
CASEY'S STILL STARING AT JEREMY...
JEREMY (CONT'D)
"Before beginning real work, every man
should take mild doses of physic to
work on the bowels."
CASEY
That's the gold standard.
JEREMY
I thought you could work it into the
post-fight interview.
CASEY
You think?
JEREMY
"Champ, that was a heartbreaking loss.
You think the outcome would've been
any different if before starting you'd
taken mild doses of physic to work on
your bowels?"
CASEY
"Elucidate" is spelled with two "l"'s,
right?
JEREMY
One.
CASEY
Really?
JEREMY
Yes.
CASEY
Interesting.
JEREMY
By the way, no Tim Turner tonight.
CASEY
Who do we have?
JEREMY
A guy I've never heard of.
CASEY
(PAUSE) Chuck Kimmel?
JEREMY
Yeah, but you're supposed to call him
Cut Man.
CASEY
I'm not calling him Cut Man.
JEREMY
He wants to be called--
CASEY
I'm not calling him Cut Man.
JEREMY
He trained Rocky Marciano.
CASEY
And I made sweet love to Ava Gardner
in Paris.
NATALIE WALKS IN--
JEREMY
That ruins Ava Gardner for me.
NATALIE
I love Ava Gardner.
JEREMY
Casey slept with her in France.
NATALIE
Was that while she was going Green
Acres?
JEREMY
That's Eva Gabor.
NATALIE
I thought they were twins.
JEREMY
That's Zsa Zsa Gabor.
NATALIE
(TO CASEY) Which one did you sleep
with in France?
CASEY
Natalie--
JEREMY
Let me. Ava Gardner is dead. Eva
Gabor was on Green Acres. Zsa Zsa
Gabor is her sister. Casey never slept
with anybody in France.
NATALIE
Thank you. (TO CASEY) Can I talk to
you a second?
CASEY
Yeah.
JEREMY
Here's another one: "When you return
to your quarters, strip in a room free
of drafts. Let two men rub you gently
with soft Turkish towels."
NATALIE
Jeremy--
JEREMY
"Then they should rub you with coarser
towels to quicken the circulation and
harden the skin."
JEREMY THINKS FOR A MOMENT...
NATALIE
Jeremy?
JEREMY
There was a joke to be made there but
I just couldn't get the bat off my
shoulder.
NATALIE
Maybe you can work on it outside,
sweetie, I'd like to talk to Casey.
JEREMY
Okay.
JEREMY GETS UP, GOES TO THE DOOR, AND THINKS OF THE
JOKE...
JEREMY (CONT'D)
Wait. (THINKS--DISCARDS IT) No.
JEREMY EXITS.
NATALIE
You got the word on--
CASEY
I'm not calling him Cut Man.
NATALIE
Suit yourself.
CASEY
What's on your mind?
NATALIE
You can't just do this, Casey. If
you're breaking up with her you've
gotta break up with her.
CASEY
Oh please.
NATALIE
Casey--
CASEY
I was never going out with her.
NATALIE
You know what I'm--
CASEY
No, I don't know what you're talking
about, Natalie, I honestly don't.
(BEAT) I never went out with her, not
once, and hardly for lack of trying.
So I don't think I do need to break up
with her, and I don't think I need
either one of you telling me what's
good for me anymore.
NATALIE
So now you're breaking up with me?
CASEY
We've all behaved ridiculously and I'm
moving on.
NATALIE
Casey...
JEREMY COMES BACK IN--
JEREMY
I've got the punchline. (THINKS--
REJECTS IT) No.
CASEY
Jeremy, let's get back to work.
NATALIE EXITS AND WE
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
(E)
INT. ABBY'S OFFICE - 5:00 PM - (DAY 2)
(Dan, Abby)
**SCENE OMITTED**
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
(H)
INT. STUDIO/CONTROL ROOM - 10:00 PM - (NIGHT 2)
(Dan, Casey, Isaac, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie, Kim, Elliot,
Chris, Will, Dave, Chuck, Atmosphere)
THE SHOW'S ABOUT TO START. DAN AND CASEY ARE BEHIND THEIR
DESK WEARING TUXEDOS.
DAVE
20 seconds live.
WILL
Stand by sound 4, 5, and 6A.
DANA
Show me Bally's.
CHRIS
Loading 1, 2, and F/X 2.
DAVE
In three...two--
DAN
Good evening from New York City, I'm
Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall for
this special CSC presentation. Rivera.
Willis. The Battle by the Boardwalk. A
twelve round bout for the light
heavyweight Championship of the World.
CASEY
Dan's talking about the entire world.
Asia. Everybody. We're moments away
from the bell, so let's go to Bally's
Park Place in Atlantic City where
Chuck Kimmel will be with us
throughout the evening. Chuck?.
NO RESPONSE...
CASEY (CONT'D)
You there, Chuck?
DANA
Natalie?
NATALIE
(INTO MIC) Casey.
CASEY
Cut Man?
CHUCK KIMMEL (ON MONITOR)
Hello Casey. Yes I'm ringside at
Bally's where the breakfast buffet is
$3.95, the slots are loose and the
showgirls are fantastic.
DANA
Oh my God.
JEREMY
No, I've been there, it's true.
CASEY
And how 'bout a prediction?
CHUCK KIMMEL
When it comes to the sweet science I'm
not much on predictions, Casey, but I
will say this: One of these fighters
is gonna win this bout tonight and the
other will almost surely not.
DAN
The Cut Man, goin' out on a limb.
CASEY
Chuck?
NATALIE
Casey--
CASEY
Cut Man?
CHUCK KIMMEL
Yes sir.
CASEY
How many rounds.
CHUCK KIMMEL
Twelve rounds in the bout, Casey.
CASEY
Yes, I meant how many of those do you
think they're actually gonna have to--
How long's the fight gonna be?
CHUCK KIMMEL
It's gonna go the distance, Casey.
DAN
You think so?
CHUCK KIMMEL
Absolutely, Casey.
DAN
I'm Dan.
CHUCK KIMMEL
Strap yourselves in, folks, we're in
for the night. Twelve rounds right
here at Bally's Park Place. Just a
stone's throw down the boardwalk from
where a new Miss America was crowned
just a few months ago. Miss Rochester,
I believe it was.
DAN AND CASEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER...
DAN
Okay...well...Rochester's not a state,
but we'll have somebody look that up.
ELLIOT
I'll go.
DANA
Siddown.
JEREMY
Hey, Rivera's looking good.
KIM
What are you looking at?
JEREMY
The fight.
KIM
The fight hasn't started yet.
JEREMY
(BEAT) I meant in his robe.
WILL
It's a nice robe.
JEREMY
It really is.
NATALIE
You want a robe like that, pumkin?
JEREMY
To tell you the truth--
DANA
Shut up about the robe.
CASEY
No, it's a city, Cut Man, in upstate
New York. Contestants in the Miss
America pageant have to come from one
of the 50 states.
CHUCK KIMMEL
Well I hate to correct you on your own
show, Casey, but there are 52 states
with Alaska and Rhode Island.
CASEY
Okay--
CHUCK KIMMEL
Though I'm no college professor.
DAN
That's almost hard to believe, Cut
Man.
CHUCK KIMMEL
Thank you, Casey.
DAN
Hey Cut Man, you see that television
monitor under your camera?
CHUCK KIMMEL
Yes sir.
DANA
Bring it in, Danny.
DAN
(WAVING A LITTLE) I'm Dan. He's Casey.
We're ringside at Bally's Park Place
and the voice in my ear says we're
read to go right now.
DAVE
Go.
SFX: LOUD MUSIC. LOUD GRAPHICS. THE OFFICIAL FIGHT
PRESENTATION STARTS.
CASEY
Was that guy drunk or a moron?
DAN
Oh, like there's no chance he could be
both?
DANA STORMS INTO THE STUDIO--
DANA
Casey, what the hell was that!?
CASEY
We'll be fine.
DANA
No, I mean what the hell was that?
CASEY
I wasn't the one who picked this guy,
Dana.
DANA
Eight years on television, you
couldn't help him out?
CASEY
What are you talking--
DANA
How much time were you gonna spend on
the Miss America pageant?
CASEY
Dana, it was funny, it was good
television--
DANA
It's fight coverage, Casey, you're not
doing Letterman right now.
CASEY
What the hell--
DANA
I'm going in and watching the fight.
This is an important night. Get it
together.
DANA HEADS BACK INTO THE CONTROL ROOM...DAN AND CASEY LOOK
AT EACH OTHER...
DAN
You know she knows about--
KIM COMES THROUGH--
KIM
Good so far.
DAN
Really?
KIM
Yeah.
DAN
Were you watching?
KIM
Not really.
KIM'S GONE.
DAN
You know she knows about--
CASEY
Yeah.
DAN
What do you want to do?
CASEY
I want to watch the fight.
DAN AND CASEY GO INTO THE CONTROL ROOM--
JEREMY
Miss Louisiana, by the way.
CASEY
You looked it up?
JEREMY
Saw the pageant.
NATALIE
(RE: THE MONITORS) Here we go.
THE FIGHT'S STARTING--
CASEY
Lemme tell you what's gonna happen
now. They'll start out slow. A touch
here, a jab there. They'll dance.
They'll feel each other out. They'll
look in each others eyes. The hunt is
long and requires patience. It's the
unsophisticated pugilist who--
SFX: BAM! WE HERE THE CROWD ROAR!
NATALIE
Oh my God.
DANA
Get up.
JEREMY
He's down.
DANA
Get up.
ELLIOT
I don't think he's getting up.
DANA
Get up!
EVERYONE IS STARING AT THE MONITORS IN SILENCE.
NATALIE
Fight's over.
THEN, AS IF ALL REALIZING AT ONCE, THEY BOLT TO THEIR PLACES.
DAVE
We're in the studio in 60 seconds.
NATALIE
I need animation.
CHRIS
Stand by all systems.
NATALIE
I need it now.
WILL
Animation's up.
DANA
This isn't happening to me.
IN THE STUDIO--
DAN
Seven seconds?!!
CASEY
Yes.
DAN
The fight lasted seven seconds?!
CASEY
The fight game is complicated.
DAN
The fight game sucks.
CASEY
What should we talk about?
DAN
What should we talk about?!
CASEY
The analysis--
DAN
The fight lasted seven seconds, Casey,
we're gonna have to go back to
counting states.
DAVE
15 seconds.
ELLIOT
(QUIETLY TO JEREMY) How much were we
blocked for here?
JEREMY
Eighteen minutes.
KIM
And how much do they have to fill?
JEREMY
An hour and a half.
ELLIOT
You're kidding me.
JEREMY
Thank God for the Cut Man.
DAVE
In three...two--
DAN
Well...Welcome back. Dan Rydell
alongside Casey McCall. In a match
that served as a fine example of just
how good this sport can be, Henry
Rivera sent Clayton Willis to the mat
just seven seconds into round one.
CASEY
Willis, who's losing end of the purse was
5.5 million dollars, was knocked out
shortly after leaving his corner. Dan and
I, who make substantially less, will be
talking about it for the next 90 minutes,
followed by Sports Night, where, unless
somebody's got a better idea, we'll be
talkin' about it some more.
DAN
We'll break the fight down--nanosecond
by nanosecond--and have a word with
the once and future champ Henry
Rivera, but first we've got Chuck
Kimmel standing by live. Chuck?
NATALIE
Danny--
DAN
Cut Man?
CHUCK KIMMEL
Casey--
DAN
Dan.
CHUCK KIMMEL
--I'll just say this. That was a hell
of a bout.
CASEY
Yes indeed.
DAN
What do you suppose happened there?
CHUCK KIMMEL
First round knockout, Dan.
DAN
Yes, we saw.
ISAAC ENTERS THE CONTROL ROOM A LITTLE GROGGY--
ISAAC
What the hell is going on?
DANA
Isaac--
ISAAC
I was taking a nap, I told you to wake
me up before the fight started.
NATALIE
We forgot.
ISAAC
You forgot?
DANA
She's not your nanny, Isaac
ISAAC
I've been looking forward to this
fight for a week. I like to see it
from the beginning. Jeremy, what'd I
miss so far?
JEREMY RUBS HIS EYES, THEN TURNS TO DANA AND NATALIE--
JEREMY
The whole time, he was talking to you
two, why do I have to answer that
question?
ISAAC
What'd I miss!?
JEREMY
You missed the fight!
ISAAC
What are you--
DANA
Rivera knocked him out in seven
seconds, gimme sound on four.
ISAAC
The fight's over?
NATALIE
Yeah.
ISAAC
The fight's over?
JEREMY
The fight was seven seconds, Isaac,
we're on the air for another 88
minutes, I have a hunch we're gonna be
able to replay it a couple of times.
DANA
(INTO MIC) Casey, ask him what kind of
punch it was.
CASEY
What did he throw, Cut Man?
CHUCK KIMMEL
A right hook with a bit of a jab.
CASEY
A jabbing right hook.
CHUCK KIMMEL
That's right, Casey.
CASEY
And he did it with his left hand.
CHUCK KIMMEL
This fighter's got remarkable skills,
Casey, he's not to be trifled wtih.
IN THE CONTROL ROOM--
DANA
I thought they were supposed to be
prepared, Natalie.
NATALIE
Dana--
DANA
(INTO MIC) Lemme see some of that
homework you're supposed to have done,
Casey.
CASEY REACTS FOR A MOMENT AND SUBTLY TO WHAT HE'S JUST HEARD
IN HIS EAR.
CASEY
Cut Man, this has to be a
heartbreaking loss for Clayton Willis,
you think the outcome would've been
any different if Willis had taken some
physic to work on his bowels?
CHUCK KIMMEL
(THINKING FOR A MOMENT) No doubt about
it, Casey.
DANA
Oh my God.
ISAAC
Bowels, Jeremy?
JEREMY
(PISSED OFF, STANDING UP) Who the hell
gave Casey that question?
NATALIE
Siddown.
JEREMY
Okay.
DAVE
Ten seconds to commercial.
CASEY
Cut Man?
CHUCK KIMMEL
Yes Dan.
CASEY
No, it's still, Casey. We're gonna
take a commercial break, after which,
believe it or not, we're gonna talk
about this some more. Stay tuned.
DAVE
We're out.
KIM
Three minutes back.
DANA
(GETTING UP) I'm gonna kill 'em.
ISAAC
Dana--
DANA
Let me do my job, Isaac.
ISAAC
They're makin' it work. They're having
fun.
DANA
They're turning this into a joke.
ISAAC
Where else are they supposed to go
with it, Dana?
DANA
(HEADING TO THE STUDIO) Excuse me.
ISAAC
Dana, can I talk to you outside?
DANA
Yes.
DANA AND ISAAC EXIT INTO THE CORRIDOR. THERE'S AN AWKWARD
SILENCE BEFORE...
JEREMY
(INTO MIC) Casey, remember it's a good
idea to get naked and have two men rub
you down with soft Turkish towels.
CASEY
And that's to harden the skin?
JEREMY
Yes sir.
CASEY
Okay.
DAN
Well...you gotta figure this: At least
my dad'll beat the traffic.
CASEY
Look, your dad can't blame you for the
fight.
DAN
Why not, Dana's blaming you for the
fight.
CASEY
That's a fair point.
DAN
He wasn't psyched at all, Casey. He
doesn't care what I'm doing. He thinks
I'm a jackass.
CASEY
I don't think he does. I think he just
acts like he does.
DAN
It doesn't make a difference.
CASEY
It should.
DAN
(BEAT) It doesn't.
CASEY
It might one day.
DAN
(BEAT) You think?
CASEY
Yeah.
DAN
(BEAT) Soon?
CASEY
Actually, yeah. Soon.
DAVE
90 seconds back.
DANA COMES INTO THE STUDIO--
DANA
Hello.
CASEY
Hello.
DANA
Can I talk to you a second?
CASEY
Sure.
CASEY AND DANA STEP BACK BEHIND THE SET--
DANA
Listen--
CASEY
Dana, we're doing the very best we
can. It has nothing to do with lack of
preparation, it has everything to do
with a seven second contest and a
color man who has no business being on
the air and whom it was not my job to
get.
DANA
I'm not mad at you.
CASEY
(BEAT) Okay.
DANA
You've been funny tonight. Both of
you. We've got a long night to go,
but... you're doin' great.
CASEY
Thank you.
DANA
I stopped being mad at you. (PAUSE) I
think you know that I went to look for
you the other night, and Jack said
you'd gone off with--
CASEY
Yeah.
DANA
And I was mad at you because, well, I
was jealous obviously, but--and it's
not like I hadn't taken that into
account when I came up with the
brilliant idea in the first place. It
was never my intention to make you
feel like there was something wrong
with you that needed to be fixed. It
was regrettable that I did that.
CASEY
The thing is it's been 15 years of it from
you, Dana. And frankly from my marriage, too,
and I know you shouldn't be getting the bill
from that, but, well, I just want to move on.
DANA
Yeah.
DAVE
30 seconds live.
CASEY
I gotta go back.
DANA
Casey?
CASEY TURNS AROUND--
DANA (CONT'D)
If I were to ask you out tonight,
would you say yes?
CASEY
(PAUSE) No. (BEAT) But ask me again
another time.
DANA
(BEAT) Okay.
CASEY GOES BACK TO THE ANCHOR DESK, DANA GOES TO THE
CONTROL ROOM--
DAN
Everything all right?
CASEY
Yeah.
DAN
You sure?
CASEY
Let's have some fun.
DAVE
In ten.
NATALIE
(TO DANA) Everything all right?
DANA
Yeah.
NATALIE
You sure.
DANA
It's over.
DAVE
In three...two--
CASEY
Welcome back. I'm Casey McCall
alongside Dan Rydell, sending out the
good vibe to his father, Jacob, who's
sitting and watching his son on
television right now whether he says
so or not.
DAN
We've got Chuck "Cut Man" Kimmel in
Atlantic City, and for those of you
still watching at home, please give us
a call and tell us why. CSC's coverage
of the big fight continues.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF SHOW