To pop everything into place... use Courier 10 (or 10 characters per inch) set top margin at 0.4", bottom margin at 0.4" (or minimums) left margin at 1", right margin at .25 (or minimum) (I had to tell the program I was using legal paper) page breaks in hard copy indicated by ---page break--- regular tabs, hard returns and right flushes are used to position things to look as much like original as possible sometimes the formatting changes slightly (as in the numbers at the end of the lines), but I'm going to keep consistent because it's easier logo on front page will be noted when used but not included here as this may be sent in .txt, originally underlined words will look like _this_ Notes: Cover: "It's A Small World After All", Teleplay by Teri Hatcher & Pat Hazel, Story by Teri Hatcher [and] Directed by Philip J. Sgriccia are all in large bolt print. The remainder of the text is in Courier 10 (10 characters per inch) Typos noted: "all right" misspelled twice in original (should be "all right") On "Locations" page, under "Interiors," Kithcen is spelled wrong in original [graphic: see script.bmp] "It's A Small World After All" EPISODE TWENTY Prod. #457420 Teleplay by Teri Hatcher & Pat Hazel] Story by Teri Hatcher Directed by Philip J. Sgriccia _Production Draft_ February 20, 1996 ---page break--- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_It's a Small World After All_" _CAST_ CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN LOIS LANE JIMMY OLSEN PERRY WHITE _______________________________________________________________ ANNETTE WESTMAN DR. KLEIN HANS JULIE KEATON DICK KEATON JOE MALLOY DEBBIE MALLOY LES BARRISH FORTUNE TELLER ---page break--- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_It's a Small World After All_" _LOCATIONS_ _INTERIORS_: _EXTERIORS_: Daily Planet Gloomy Alley Newsroom Conference Room Clark's Doorstep Clark's Apartment Dick & Julie's Porch Living Room Kithcen Bedroom Bathroom Lois's Apartment Living Room Kitchen Annette's Hotel Suite Bedroom Doll House Room Restaurant Star Labs ---page break--- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_It's a Small World After All_" _CHRONOLOGY_ SC. 1 - 19 NIGHT #1 SC. 20 DAY #2 SC. 21 - 23 NIGHT #2 SC. 24 - 48 DAY #3 SC. 49 - 53 NIGHT #3 SC. 54 - 59 DAY #4 SC. 60 - 79 NIGHT #4 SC. 80 - 98 DAY #5 SC. 99 - 101 NIGHT #5 ---page break--- _LOIS & CLARK_ _The New Adventures of Superman_ "It's a Small World After All" _TEASE_ FADE IN: 1 INT. LOIS'S APARTMENT - NIGHT #1 1 LOIS is dressing for the evening, while CLARK sits on the couch, thumbing through her high school yearbook. The yearbook is embossed with the mascot of a lion's head on the cover and the word "LIONS." LOIS My high school reunion. Where does the time go?! Listen, are you sure you wanna go to this? CLARK (glancing up) Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Sure. LOIS ... Because I'd understand if you didn't. I mean, a bunch of people you don't really... CLARK (stands) Lois, you just got your memory back. I just got _you_ back. I may never let you out of my sight again. (stares down at book) Well, would you look at you. LOIS Just my luck. I wear polyester one day of my life and it's captured on film for eternity. CLARK (reading) Lois Lane, Student Body President. You got elected with that hair? LOIS I was still stuck in my Charlie's Angels phase. Everyone was! CLARK And who's Joe Malloy? (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 2. 1 CONTINUED: 1 LOIS We should really get going. CLARK (reading poem) "You're in my dreams like a touchdown pass, I can't help noticing You've got a great' -- Lois jerks the yearbook out of his hands. LOIS Give me that. It was also my 'dating the quarterback phase.' It didn't last long. CLARK (amused; standing) You were also voted least likely to get married... LOIS ... and put up a picket fence. I know, I know. I was independent and headstrong and, by the way, I also vowed not to get married until after my first Pulitzer. CLARK So what changed? LOIS I met you. Charging through life alone isn't as great as sharing my life with you. A kiss and they are out the door. CUT TO: 2 INT. ANNETTE'S HOTEL SUITE - BEDROOM - NIGHT 2 A posh hotel suite. Lurking about is a majestic Abyssinian CAT. We follow it as it stealthily crosses the room, taking us by issues of the Daily Planet strewn on the bed, a Vogue magazine with a beautiful model, PEGGY BARRISH, on the cover, a large scrapbook over-stuffed with high school memorabilia, then settles on a Lions' football jersey. We hear someone singing a school fight song, ending with: (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 3. 2 CONTINUED: 2 ANNETTE (O.S.) Gooooo Lions! (she roars) I've been waiting for this moment for years. I am beautiful, I am successful, and I... 3 REVEAL ANNETTE WESTMAN 3 Lois's contemporary primping herself for the reunion. She's neurotic, bird-like, too high strung to ever enjoy life. She's overdressed in a sort of upscale prom dress, complete with wrist corsage, and expensively coiffed, the "after" picture from a make-over brochure. ANNETTE (CONT'D) (suddenly enraged) ... was never asked to a dance. Never, ever, ever! (flings down her hair brush; calm again) But I won't be the wallflower at _this_ dance, will I? (beat) I said, _will_ I? VOICES (O.S.) No! She turns toward a doll house on a table; we see its back. ANNETTE (lips curling) Oh, that sounded _so_ sincere. _Must_ you be so small? 4 DOLL HOUSE ROOM 4 The fourth wall of the room's been replaced with bars. Inside cower DEBBIE MALLOY, in an Aspen Barbie ski suit and LES BARRISH, decked out in a Ken doll type cowboy outfit. ANNETTE (evil smile) Oops. Tasteless question. (walking towards them) My darling little Debbie, do you miss Joe? He never had any time for me in high school. Well, he'll have time for me tonight!! Oh, and Les, I'll comfort Peggy. (MORE) (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 4. 4 CONTINUED: 4 ANNETTE (CONT'D) She's probably been crying and crying since you've been gone. (angrily grabs magazine, stares at cover) Which'll just wreck those perfect features! (tosses magazine over shoulder) I'm off! Tonight I'll be the belle of the ball, while Lois Lane's world is going to get awfully small. (at the door) Oh, if you get hungry, help yourself to the... mini-bar. In gales of evil laughter, she leaves and... BLACK. _END OF TEASE_ ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 5. _ACT ONE_ FADE IN: 5 INT. RESTAURANT - ENTRY DOORS - NIGHT 5 Lois and Clark appear in the doorway, survey the noisy party, decorated in early 80's splendor, a disco ball suspended in the middle. LOIS Oh, so I never asked you... In situations like this... Are you a mingler or a clinger? CLARK A what? LOIS A mingler or a clinger. Do you hang on the hip all night or do you like to split up and circulate? ANNETTE (O.S.) Lo-Lo! Ooh-ooh! 6 NEW ANGLE 6 Lois and Clark spin to see Annette rushing their way. CLARK (through clenched teeth) 'Lo-Lo?' LOIS (embarrassed) My... good friends used to call me that. Annette plasters herself to Lois. ANNETTE Lois! (air kisses) You look wonderful. As always. (to Clark) Annette Westman. Lois is frantically trying to remember this person. CLARK Oh. So you were one of Lois' good friends. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 6. 6 CONTINUED: 6 ANNETTE No, we barely spoke. Right, Lo-Lo? Hardly ever. Almost never. LOIS Well, I... we.... you know... I You look great, Annette. ANNETTE (spins around) Really? Like I'm ready for the prom? Not that I'd know... I never actually _went_ to a prom. Ha ha ha ha. JULIE (O.S.) Lo-Lo! Lois spins to see JULIE KEATON and her husband DICK. LOIS Juileee! Uh, Annette, let's go say hi to.... ANNETTE No, no, you go. Run off to Julie, just like the old days... Lois smiles apologetically, grabs Clark's arm and CAMERA MOVES with them into the crowd, as: LOIS Julie, hi! Hi, Dick. Julie, this is Clark... Clark, Dick, Dick, Clark... 7 ANNETTE 7 Annette's smile suddenly sours. She speaks into her wrist corsage. ANNETTE (CONT'D) Hans, get in here. HANS, a lumbering henchman, disguised as a busboy in an ill-fitting white coat, carrying a tray of glasses, appears in the doorway. HANS Yes, Madam. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 7. 7 CONTINUED: 7 ANNETTE Time to get to work. I _will_ be the center of attention at this stupid event. HANS Yes, Madam. He starts away, she grabs his arm. ANNETTE I'll get into position... But do _not release it until my signal_. HANS Yes, Madam. 8 JULIE, DICK, LOIS, CLARK 8 The women laugh at some memory; Clark and Dick awkwardly smile at each other. Then: JULIE (noticing) Oh God, there's Joe Malloy. CLARK (interest piqued) The... quarterback? JULIE He's so unhappy. His wife, Debbie, vanished about six weeks ago. LOIS That's terrible. Have the police been notified? JULIE The case is still open, but they don't have any leads. It doesn't look good. 9 JOE MALLOY 9 Handsome, athletically built. Annette gloms onto him. ANNETTE (gushing sympathy) Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, _Joe_. JOE Hi. Annette. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 8. 9 CONTINUED: 9 Lois and Clark approach. LOIS Joe, I just heard. I'm so sorry. What can I do? JOE It's just good to see you, Lo-Lo. Having friends around is my only comfort. Annette, here, has been such a rock. (choked up) I just don't know... Annette hugs him harder as he sniffles. ANNETTE Buck up, big guy. LOIS You two have been... close... since high school? JOE Not really, but she sure came along at the right time. Which is sweet... her bein' so busy with her cosmetics company and all... CLARK Westman Cosmetics? You're that Westman? ANNETTE (proudly) Yes! Fortune 500, New York Stock Exchange, things've changed a _lot_ for me since high school! JOE 'Scuse me, Annette, I just wanna talk to Lois for a sec... Annette stares at them in horror, glares at Clark, who shrugs innocently. 10 LOIS AND JOE 10 JOE That guy you're with ... ? LOIS Clark. My fiance. Sorry, I meant to intro... (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 9. 10 CONTINUED: 10 JOE Hang onto him, Lois. You don't see it comin' 'til they're gone. Debbie n' me, we had our problems... but I never thought she'd _leave_. Must be something about bein' thirty. Same thing happened to Peggy. LOIS _Peggy_? Our _friend_ Peggy? Peggy Barrish? JOE Yeah. Her husband, Les. Gone. No note. No nothing. She's all torn up... LOIS So that's why she's not here tonight. A rather sour FORTUNE TELLER done up in Gypsy garb, grey wig and blacked-out teeth hobbles up. FORTUNE TELLER Fortunes... fortunes... I see all. LOIS Miss Pomerantz! You taught P.E. FORTUNE TELLER Yes. Lois Lane. Always out of uniform. 11 WITH ANNETTE 11 She speaks into her wrist corsage. ANNETTE Ready? Wait 'til my signal..... CAMERA TILTS UP to reveal the big disco ball, suspended from the ceiling. 12 INT. CEILING CRAWL SPACE - HANS - NIGHT 12 Hans, on his belly in the rafters, lit by a pool of light from his LANTERN, loosens the nuts on a series of bolts with his wrench. Annette's VOICE is heard on his walkie-talkie. ANNETTE (V.O.) ... The ball will miss me by about a foot. The room'll go _wild_ with sympathy and concern... ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 10. 13 DANCE FLOOR - LOIS, JOE, FORTUNE TELLER 13 Lois smiles patiently as the Fortune Teller scans her palm. LOIS So you say I'm getting married... FORTUNE TELLER You're wearing an engagement ring, aren't you? Oh, look. I definitely see a little Kent in your future. 14 ANNETTE 14 She glares at Lois, muttering sourly to herself: ANNETTE Lois. Get out of the way. (into her corsage) Hold it. Just wait... 15 INTERCUT THE CRAWL SPACE - HANS 15 STATIC squawks from the walkie talkie. Hans can't make out the garble. ANNETTE (into corsage) Not yet! Not yet! Hans hears the urgent squawking, makes a nervous decision to yank the final bolt. 16 CEILING - SUPPORT PLATE - INSERT 16 The bolts pull away from the ceiling with a GROAN. 17 THE ROOM - VARIOUS ANGLES 17 Plaster dust falls, Lois stares up. The ball hurtles straight for her. Screams. A BLUR of blue. SUPERMAN catches the ball, floats down to the floor. Julie, Dick, Joe, others rush to Lois, gushing sympathy: EVERYONE Lois, are you okay? It barely missed you! You could've been killed! Lo-Lo, this is terrible! Annette glares murderously. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 11. 17 CONTINUED: 17 ANNETTE _Fabulous_. As if she never got _enough_ attention. (into her corsage) You idiot! 18 LOIS AND CROWD 18 JOE Superman... How did you know to..? SUPERMAN I'm always sort of... nearby. Lois and I are... friends. ANNETTE (throws up a hand) Of course! SUPERMAN Well, I should be going... JULIE Oh no... _stay_... Please? Others join her pleas, a little APPLAUSE. Superman and Lois smile, shrug at each other. MUSIC comes up; people start to dance. Lois glances around, Superman gestures for her to join him, they begin to dance. Lights lower, a SPOTLIGHT hits them. Superman and Lois dance for a moment, then: 19 ANNETTE 19 Annette's fuming. ANNETTE Well, Lois, you're happy now, but that's all about to change. CUT TO: 20 INT. DAILY PLANET - COFFEE AREA - DAY #2 20 Lois sips her coffee while Clark pours his. CLARK I know you want that Pulitzer before we get married, I just don't think it was at your reunion. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 12. 20 CONTINUED: 20 LOIS Clark, the spouses of two of my classmates have disappeared in the last six weeks without a trace. She starts off down the ramp, Clark right after her. CLARK Do you know the divorce rate in this country? LOIS I know these people. They are just not the vanish-without-a-trace type. They pass PERRY at the bottom of the ramp. He is wearing new cowboy boots and carries a small wrapped gift in hand. PERRY Clark, when a pit bull gets a hold of a bone, it's not going to let go until it's finished with it. LOIS Perry, there's a connection between some no-shows at my reunion. PERRY What makes you think that? LOIS Well, they weren't there. PERRY How are they connected? LOIS Well, they weren't there. PERRY Why weren't they there? LOIS Well, I don't know. (exasperated) They weren't there. PERRY Now there's a story crying out to be told. LOIS Jimmy?! (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 13. 20 CONTINUED: 2 20 CLARK (noticing) Chief... Are those... cowboy boots you're wearing? PERRY Sally... The lady I'm seein'... is very big on the whole country western thing. We went line dancin' last night. Ever been? He does a side-stepping line dance away from them. PERRY (CONT'D) You just gotta keep track of your heel and toe and toe and heel.... He practically collides with JIMMY, who's rushed from the hall. Perry stops, stares, realizes a whole group is watching him. PERRY (CONT'D) Don't you city folk have stories to write?! (hands Lois gift) Here, I got you a gift. You're gonna need it sooner or later. He stalks off to his office. Lois watches him with affection. LOIS Thanks Chief. JIMMY You called, my queen? LOIS (wry smile) Yeah. Be a prince and run the names in my senior class. (handing him her yearbook) See if any of their spouses come up on missing persons lists. And could you get a phone number for Peggy Barrish? JIMMY Peggy Barrish? The _model_ Peggy Barrish? The one in the lingerie ads? The one in the garter belts? LOIS Her husband, Les, is missing. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 14. 20 CONTINUED: 3 20 JIMMY Oh, that's terrible. (going; to Clark) _Garter_ belts. Clark grins as Lois looks from Jimmy to Clark and sighs. She opens the gift. It's a brass desk nameplate with the name "Lois Kent." They both stare at it in surprise. LOIS Wow. 'Lois Kent.' CLARK Lois... Kent. LOIS I've never actually seen those names... CLARK ... put together before. They both stare at the nameplate, then slowly look at each other, each not sure how the other feels about this. CUT TO: 21 INT. ANNETTE'S HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT #2 21 MUSIC: "At Seventeen" by Janis Ian sets the mood on the stereo. Annette consoles herself with cookies and milk as she pets her cat. She flips through the pages of her scrap book. Pressed flowers, concert ticket stubs, and a page reserved for valentines that's completely empty. Standing by her side is Hans, looking guilty and beaten down. ANNETTE You can't even _drop_ something right! I was supposed to get the sympathy, not Lo-Lo. (furious sing-song) 'Lo-Lo and Clark.' 'Lo-Lo and Superman.' 'Lo-Lo and the football team.' Whatever Lo-Lo wants, Lo-Lo gets!! Well, not for long!! 22 ANGLE ON CAPTIVES 22 LES (desperately) Annette, please, if it's ransom you're after, Peggy and I will pay it. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 15. 22 CONTINUED: 22 ANNETTE (disgusted) I hate it when tiny people beg. I don't want ransom! I want Peggy, stressed out and getting uglier by the minute, to accept my... friendship... and tell me daily how miserable and _lonely_ she is! (beat, an evil smile) Just like your Joe does, Debbie. Debbie turns away, grief-stricken. Annette pulls up a COBALT BLUE BOTTLE with an ornate top and places it lovingly into a neon-colored bag marked "For the Man In Love." ANNETTE (CONT'D) (to Debbie) Cheer up, doll. Soon you'll be joined by two others. As they say, misery loves company. (re bottle) And this lovely stuff is what does the trick. (yelling) Hans! Deliver these packages poste haste. And as Hans lumbers in, we... CUT TO: 23 EXT. CLARK'S DOORSTEP - NIGHT 23 A blustery night; distant THUNDER. Clark returns home to find the bag labeled "For the Man In Love", swinging from his doorknob. He pulls out the blue bottle, reads: CLARK (reading) 'Does the love of your life notice the little changes you make? Would you like to draw her a little closer? one application of this shampoo will put you in her hip pocket forever.' Lightning, THUNDER. As Clark smiles, enters his apartment: BLACK. _END OF ACT ONE_ ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 16. _ACT TWO_ FADE IN: 24 EXT. DICK AND JULIE'S HOUSE PORCH - MORNING - DAY #3 24 Julie, dressed for work, hurries outside. She shuts the door, starts away, the door opens. It's Dick, wet, in robe, towel drying his hair. DICK You didn't say good-bye! JULIE (smiles, runs back to him) I'm late! You were in the shower. (they kiss) Mmmm. You smell good. She hurries down to her car, jumps in, drives off, as Dick retrieves the morning paper from the bottom of the steps, returns to the door. As he arrives at the door, he is suddenly gripped with a strange, constricting feeling. He drops the paper and towel, grabs his head, then his sides, then stares at his arms. QUICK CUTS: 25 HIS HANDS 25 are disappearing into the sleeves. 26 HIS FEET 26 The hem of the robe is dropping toward the feet, which seem to pull back inside the cloth. 27 HIS HEAD 27 Shrinks down into the collar of the robe, which drops to the porch. 28 THE FALLEN ROBE 28 From under a fold of material, tiny Dick Keaton peers out. RACK TO REVEAL, behind him, Hans, dressed in coveralls, who leaps out of the bushes and approaches with a bag attached to a stick. Dick hears him, vanishes back into the robe. ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 17. 29 HANS 29 Hans, whose coveralls read "Snoil Exterminating" brings the bag down onto the wriggling lump under the robe. CUT TO: 30 INT. CLARK'S BATHROOM - ON RADIO - MORNING 30 "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" plays on the radio as we PAN to the glass walled shower. Clark steps in, turns on the water, reaches for the sample shampoo, shrugs "why not?" and... 31 CLOSE ON CAP - INSERT 31 Clark twists the cap off the bottle. 32 INT. ANNETTE'S HOTEL ROOM - ON CONSOLE - MORNING 32 A small electronic console with multiple lights. One light is already lit, and suddenly a second comes on, a BUZZER sounds as we WIDEN to find Annette, in a smart business suit. ANNETTE My my, we're having a busy morning! She grabs the little microphone, still attached to the wilted wrist corsage. ANNETTE (CONT'D) Hans! You can make that other pick up in just a few minutes. She tosses the microphone, then SLAMS her hand against the side of the dollhouse. ANNETTE (CONT'D) Wake up! You're gonna have company. CUT TO: 33 INT. CLARK'S SHOWER 33 Clark is rinsing soap off, now reaches for the shampoo. ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Now, to update this morning's breaking story... ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 18. 34 CLOSE ON BOTTLE 34 Clark brings it closer to his damp hair. 35 THE RADIO 35 ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Thousands are fleeing for their lives as lava from the erupting Kilauea volcano rushes toward the villages below. To repeat... (etc.) 36 THE SHOWER 36 Clark slams the shampoo down on the shower shelf and BLURS out. CAMERA SLOWLY PANS from shower around the now empty bathroom. ANNOUNCER (V.O.) ... a disaster unparalleled in recent times. This just in. Miraculously, Superman has just appeared and has diverted the lava flow into the Pacific ocean! Local residents stand cheering and it appears not a single home has been lost. (etc.) During this, CAMERA has continued its PAN around the bathroom, and as it nears the shower, red boots and cape are dropped into a pile of blue clothing on the floor and we find a soot-covered Clark back in the shower, rinsing off. He now reaches for the shampoo, about to pour it on his head. RING! The phone. Exasperated, Clark leans out of the shower, grabs the portable phone near the sink. CLARK Hello. Lois, can I call you back? I'm in the shower. He hangs up, steps back into the shower. He lathers up. CUT TO: 37 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - DAY 37 Lois picks up her bag and turns to head out. She opens the door, startled to find Annette, poised to knock. LOIS Annette! ANNETTE How about that lunch? (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 19. 37 CONTINUED: 37 LOIS Oh, well, gee, I was just on the way to... ANNETTE (breezing in; all charm) Speaking of lunch, do you remember the time those senior boys dumped oatmeal on a kid in the cafeteria? LOIS I'd forgotten all about that. ANNETTE I remember it like it was yesterday. LOIS Was that you? Oh, I'm sorry. Boy, kids can be really mean. ANNETTE Yeah well, I'm getting the last laugh. Turns out oatmeal is good for acne. It cleared up my skin and inspired my cosmetic line. (spotting name plate on table) I like the new name plate. LOIS Oh, that. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. ANNETTE I know I'd never give up the name 'Westman,' not that that's an issue. Before you can marry you have to get a date and to get a date, you have to have a sense of self worth! Ha ha ha ha. Gee, I can't remember the last time the two of us just had girl talk. LOIS You know... me, either. ANNETTE Gosh, then I guess it's, oh... possible... we never did! (MORE) (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 20. 37 CONTINUED: 2 37 ANNETTE (CONT'D) (seizes Lois' hands) I always thought, if it hadn't been for all those silly barriers in high school, we'd have been close friends. Call me, alright? Any time you want. Any time you need help. I want to hear all about it. LOIS Well... Thank you. ANNETTE Us Lions have to stick together. (she roars) Rrraaar! A devilish grin sweeps across Annette's face. CUT TO: 38 INT. CLARK'S LIVING ROOM - DAY 38 A large shadow looms across Clark's front door. The door knob RATTLES and is jimmied open. Hans appears, bag at the ready. He creeps through the apartment, looking along floor boards, through the bedroom and toward the closed bathroom door. A LIGHT IS SHINING beneath the door. We HEAR MUSIC. HANS Collection time, little fella. He pushes the door open, raising his bag. 39 INTERCUT BATHROOM - ON FEET - HANS P.O.V. 39 CAMERA TILTS up to find a very unshrunk Clark, towel around his waist, brushing his teeth and rocking out to the radio. Clark turns to see Hans, dressed in the "Snoil Pest Control" coveralls. HANS (covering) Uh... sorry, I must be in the wrong apartment. He swiftly heads out of bedroom, followed by a suspicious Clark. CLARK Hey, hold on a minute.... (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 21. 39 CONTINUED: 39 HANS The landlord ordered pest control. Excuse please. (rushing out) Must check work order. Huge rats. No rats here. Hans bolts out the door, leaving a bewildered Clark, still with toothbrush in mouth. Clark goes to doorway, watches Hans retreat, slowly closes door with a puzzled look. CUT TO: 40 INT. DAILY PLANET - LOIS' DESK - TAKE-OUT TRAY - DAY 40 In the tray are two sealed cappuccinos. CAMERA TILTS UP to find Clark hurrying toward the desk, where Lois sits working, waiting for him, a bit nervous, something on her mind. CLARK Morning. Sorry I'm late. LOIS I've been trying to reach Peggy Barrish, the other girl whose husband vanished? No luck. CLARK You can't believe what happened when I was getting ready this morning. LOIS Actually, I heard about the volcano. Nice work. (offers container) One latte, fat full, double sugar lumped, just like you like it. CLARK Thanks I'd just gotten outta the shower; and in walks this exterminator looking for rats. LOIS You're kidding. Did he see anything? CLARK (he winks) Nah, I had a towel on. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 22. 40 CONTINUED: 40 He's at his desk, glancing at phone messages. Lois sips cappuccino, awkwardly approaches. LOIS (CONT'D) Uh, listen... Clark... CLARK (preoccupied) Yeah? LOIS We haven't really talked about this... but... Just how dead set are you on me changing my last name to Kent? CLARK Well, I... LOIS (rattling on) Because, you know, it is my professional name... And marrying you is a _huge_ part of my life, don't get me wrong, but so is (indicates room) ... this. And I won't feel one bit less married to you holding onto a name that's taken me years to establish. Not that tradition isn't on your side, but why do _women_ do all the changing? Change our name when we get married, change our body when we have a baby... CLARK Lois ... ? LOIS (firmly) Yes, Clark. CLARK (nods at her cup) Next time, de-caf. LOIS (flustered) I just feel _attached_... professionally and personally to Lois Lane. CLARK Me, too. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 23. 40 CONTINUED: 2 40 LOIS You, too what? CLARK _I'm_ very attached to Lois Lane. I fell in love with her, I admire her, I depend on her. I'm not asking for any other changes, am I? LOIS No... CLARK I'm marrying who you are. Not who you'll become. LOIS (touched) Aw... CLARK Look, if something's important to you, it's important to me. We're in this together. She stares at him, very moved, and they kiss. JIMMY (O.S.) Guys, c'mon. 41 NEW ANGLE 41 As they sheepishly part to find Jimmy waiting. CLARK (to Jimmy) Nice timing. JIMMY Lois, I ran those names from your senior class, none of 'em reported missing persons except the ones you told me about. CLARK (to Lois) ... Who both happen to be friends of yours. LOIS Yeah, weird, huh? Loud BANGING O.S. They look, and: ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 24. 42 EATING AREA 42 Joe Malloy is banging on the candy machine. Lois and Clark rush up to him. LOIS Joe, are you okay? JOE Damn machine. There's one more Snickers in there, I can see it. It keeps saying it's empty, but it's not! I want that last Snickers. Clark slips his foot under the machine and lifts it up a few inches and lets it drop, dislodging the candy bar. He reaches for it and hands it to Joe. CLARK Here you go. Joe Malloy, right? JOE I don't mean to bother you people.. I just thought maybe you'd found out something about my Debbie... Or Peggy's husband, Les. (tearing up) I just don't know what to do anymore. CUT TO: 43 INT. ANNETTE'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY 43 "At Seventeen" plays. Annette takes the wriggling bag from Hans, who holds the second bag. She drops a Malibu Barbie beach towel in the bag. ANNETTE I'm so happy you cheap consumers used your free shampoo. (calling to doll house) Make room for Little Richard. HANS There's something I need to tell you... ANNETTE Hans... When Madam is savoring her triumphs, Madam does not wish to be disturbed. HANS Yes, Madam. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 25. 43 CONTINUED: 43 She gives him a contemptuous look, takes the bag close to the doll house. 44 INTERCUT DOLL HOUSE ROOM 44 The room of the doll house is full frame, making it look normal. Suddenly, the front door swings open and Dick Keaton, covered in a little towel around his waist is shoved into the room. LES Dick! DICK Aw man... Les... Debbie... So this is where you disappeared to. ANNETTE (irritably) Alright, break up the coffee klatch! You, Dick... She inserts the point of a pencil into a window. It appears enormous in the room, prods Dick in the gut. ANNETTE (CONT'D) ... For God's sake, get in that closet and put on something humiliating! Another push from the pencil and Dick scampers across the room and into the closet. ANNETTE (CONT'D) (snapping her fingers) Hans, the last bag. HANS Madam, please, I... ANNETTE (snatching bag from Hans) Our final guest is the recently engaged Clark Kent... She dumps the last bag out. Nothing falls from the bag. 45 ANGLE ON DEBBIE, LES AND DICK 45 Dick peers out from the closet. The three look at each other: "What's going on?" ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 26. 46 ANGLE ON ANNETTE 46 ANNETTE (too calm) Hans, you will perhaps note the bag is empty. HANS (wretchedly) Yes, Madam. ANNETTE Tell me he used the shampoo. HANS I'm sure he did. But, uhhh... ANNETTE (furious) Quit muttering, you overgrown tumor! Where is Clark?! Where is he?! Where is he?! Where is he?! HANS The shampoo failed. ANNETTE (furious) The shampoo didn't 'fail!' I don't 'fail!' I gave _up_ 'failing!' If anyone around here 'failed' who would it have been? HANS Uh, me. ANNETTE (calm) I completely agree. (enraged) I want Lois' nightmare to begin! Find out what happened!! Hans rushes out as Annette throws open an armoire to reveal photos of Julie, Peggy, Joe and Lois. Peggy and Joe have black, crushed flower wreathes around them. She places another one around Julie's picture and clutches a fourth wreath in her hands. ANNETTE (CONT'D) Lois, I'm going to wash that man right out of your life. CUT TO: ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 27. 47 INT. DAILY PLANET CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 47 Lois and Clark sit with Joe, who devours the Snickers bar. Clark pushes up his glasses, which keep slipping down his nose. CLARK Other than the fact you were friends in high school... There's nothing that links you and the other victims. JOE I know. After we graduated, everyone sorta scattered. LOIS How's Peggy? I've been trying to reach her. JOE Completely shattered. She and Les were so happy. Seemed like they had it all. (rueful smile) Guess that's what they used to say about all of us in high school, huh, Lo-Lo? LOIS (to Clark) Peggy was Homecoming Queen... Julie was head cheerleader... CLARK Joe was the quarterback... (to Joe) That's what you three had in common. You were all big deals in high school. JOE (glances at watch; stands) I got a lunch appointment, don't wanna keep her waiting. Thanks for listening. Lois and Clark have stood, she hugs Joe. LOIS We're going to figure this out, Joe. JOE That perfume's nice. Reminds me of Debbie. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 28. 47 CONTINUED: 47 He sniffs Lois, then glances at Clark. JOE (CONT'D) (to Clark) Sorry, it I s you. Clark looks puzzled, Joe goes off. LOIS (sniffs Clark) You do smell good. New cologne? CLARK I'm not wearing cologne. Lois, standing close to him now, notices that his shirt collar and tie are loose around his neck. She goes to tighten his tie. LOIS Getting a little sloppy in your rushes to save the day, aren't you? He looks down at his tie and collar, wondering what's up, and his glasses slip off his face into his hands. Lois looks back. LOIS (CONT'D) (seeing glasses off) Clark, your glasses! Clark quickly puts on his glasses, glances around. Lois smiles, goes off. Now Clark steps around a corner, finds a mirror hung on a wall. 48 CLARK 48 He loosens his tie, pulls his shirt collar away from his neck. There is quite a gap. He stares down worriedly and his glasses slip again. He pushes them back onto his nose. He stares nervously into the mirror. CAMERA MOVES IN on his concerned expression, and... BLACK. _END OF ACT TWO_ ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 29. _ACT THREE_ FADE IN: 49 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT #3 49 Lois cradles the phone on her shoulder while she consults a cookbook and pokes at a burning dish. LOIS Thanks. (hangs up) Jimmy said Julie's been trying to reach me. Sounds urgent. CLARK (looking on stove) Cajun cooking again? Lois gives him a look, dials the phone. CLARK (CONT'D) I'll try to find a wine that goes with blackened lasagna. Clark heads to the wine rack, casually reaches for a bottle on the top row, is startled to find he can't reach it. He glances back at Lois, who's preoccupied, reaches again. 50 EXT. SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE - NIGHT 50 Hans, in a neighboring building window or outside the big glass windows, or out on the patio.... watches. 51 INTERCUT HIS POV (POSSIBLY BINOCULARS) 51 Clark reaches again for the bottles, looks frustrated. Hans smiles a wide, toothy grin as he pulls out a cel phone. HANS (on the move) It's started. Hans folds up the cel phone and vanishes. 52 INT. CLARK'S - WITH CLARK 52 He's worried. He looks to Lois to make sure she isn't watching. He FLOATS up to retrieve the bottle. He puts the wine on the table and heads to the bedroom. ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 30. 53 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 53 Clark enters and pulls off his sweater to reveal his shirt sleeves folded up and held in place by rubber bands. He takes off the elastic and the cuffs drop, hanging just below his fingertips. Clark looks at his oversized clothes. CLARK (to self) This is insane. LOIS (O.S.) I called Julie back and got a machine. Clark is swimming in his shirt. He quickly tries pulling the sleeves back up as: LOIS (O.S.) Who leaves an urgent message and then goes out? I hope she isn't... Clark looks up. Lois has come in the bedroom. She stares, bewildered, at the dangling cuff. CLARK Uh... I was just, uh, noticing that this shirt is, uh, all stretched out. LOIS (as she approaches) Not that I'm all that domestic... But do shirts _stretch_? Clark continues to roll up the sleeves to hide his problem. CLARK I gotta find a different cleaners... Lois, now close enough to touch the shirt, sees that it's really big, everywhere. LOIS (afraid) It looks like either your clothes are growing or.... Clark, what's happening to you? CLARK (reluctantly) I don't know. I mean I know what's happening, I just don't understand how. Or why. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 31. 53 CONTINUED: 53 LOIS (struggling for calm) Has this ever happened before? CLARK What's today... Tuesday? The first I noticed it was Monday. LOIS This started yesterday and you didn't tell me?! What were you thinking of?! CLARK I was thinking, 'Don't tell Lois. It'll only upset her.' (off her exasperated look) I just wanted to get some facts first, to make sense out of what's happening to me. LOIS To _us_. Whatever happens to you or me, happens to us. Didn't you just get through saying 'we're in this together?' She can see the worry in his eyes; puts her arms around him. LOIS (CONT'D) (gently) And we'll get through this. Together. CUT TO: 54 INT. STAR LABS - DAY #4 54 We see smoldering wood and a frozen beaker on the counter. Superman, standing on a scale with a sliding height bar over his head, bends a steel bar into a pretzel and hands it to a LAB ASSISTANT. Dr. Klein looks on, making notes on a clipboard. DR. KLEIN Your powers are functioning normally but you've experienced a significant loss in height and body mass. I'm not sure why but the suit fits as snugly as ever. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 32. 54 CONTINUED: 54 SUPERMAN It's the aura effect. Anything within a tenth of a millimeter is essentially a second skin. DR. KLEIN What's happening to you could be a result of living on Earth all these years under a yellow sun. Perhaps your molecular structure can only tolerate a yellow sun for a finite period before it begins to break down. SUPERMAN At least it seems to be happening very slowly... DR. KLEIN (awkwardly) Although... I'm afraid that... as your body mass declines... SUPERMAN It's okay, Doc... Tell me. You can be blunt. DR. KLEIN Think of yourself as a snowman. As a snowman melts there is less and less to protect it from the effects of the sun. Before you know it, you're nothing more than a puddle with a corn cob pipe. Superman stares, stunned. DR. KLEIN (CONT'D) (angry at himself) Too blunt! Too blunt! I knew it! You can see why I don't do clinical work. Dr. Klein notices Superman is a few inches lower than the height bar. Dr. Klein moves it down and records it. DR. KLEIN (CONT'D) (disturbed) Oh dear. You're smaller than when you arrived. Superman swallows hard. CUT TO: ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 33. 55 INT. DAILY PLANET - LATE MORNING 55 Lois walks to her desk with Julie Keaton who appears to be in shock. Lois notices Clark's empty chair. Perry approaches wearing a new cowboy hat. PERRY Lois, where's Clark? LOIS (too casually) Oh... I'm sure he'll turn up... PERRY (firmly) When the rooster crows cock-a-doodle-doo I expect every ranch hand to get his keester out of the bunkhouse and pull his own weight! (walking away) C'mon you dogies, roll 'em out. LOIS (off Julie) He's... going through an urban cowboy phase. JULIE (emotionally) Dick did, too. I gave him such a hard time. (bursting into tears) God, how I'd love to see him! Even in those stupid boots! LOIS (hugging her) I'm so sorry. If I'd gotten hold of you last night, I would've come over... JULIE (drying tears) Thanks, Lois... Actually, Annette was with me. She was so nice... They sit at Lois's desk. JULIE (CONT'D) Now I know what poor Joe Malloy and Peggy Barrish went through... (welling up) After you live with Clark for a while, you'll know what I mean. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 34. 55 CONTINUED: 55 JULIE There's no emptier feeling than coming home to the house where your husband used to be. LOIS (consoling) Oh, Julie. (then) And you didn't notice anything unusual in the house at all? JULIE (sniffling) Just that nothing was touched... Even Dick's clothes were all still there. (then) Oh... And... I don't know if this means anything, but my neighbor saw an exterminator van near our house. LOIS (cutting her off) An exterminator? Clark had an exterminator in his place too. What was the name of the company JULIE Oh gosh. What did she say ... ? (beat) 'Snoil.' That was it. 'S-N-0-I-L.' The phone rings. LOIS (picking up phone) Lois Lane. 56 INTERCUT - ANNETTE'S HOTEL ROOM 56 ANNETTE Free for lunch? LOIS Annette? I can't go to lunch. I'm sitting here with Julie... Annette, with her hand covering the phone, talks to caged Dick now dressed in Ken doll formal wear. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 35. 56 CONTINUED: 56 ANNETTE (hushed) And I'm sitting here with Dick. LOIS It's so terrible what's happened... ANNETTE (feigning sympathy) I know. There's nothing worse than loneliness. Believe me, I know. Please tell her I'm here for her if she needs me. I know how tough the disappearance of Joe's wife has been on him. LOIS Can I call you back? ANNETTE Oh yes, and tell Julie to think positively. I'm sure Dick's devotion to her will get him home safely. Annette hangs up. ANNETTE (CONT'D) (to Dick) NOT! 57 BULLPEN - LOIS AND JULIE 57 Lois hangs the phone up. LOIS Annette said to think positively. JULIE She's just so.... great. LOIS Were you guys friends in high school? JULIE No... Want to know something awful? I used to sort of... tease her. Lois' PHONE rings again. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 36. 57 CONTINUED: 57 LOIS (to Julie) Sorry (into phone) Hello... Clark! What did Dr. Klein say? (beat) Meet you? Well, yeah, I could... (startled; quietly:) In an alley? CUT TO: 58 EXT. GLOOMY ALLEY - DUSK 58 Lois edges her way into the shadows of the alley. She is cautious and anxious. Clark is unseen in the dark shadows throughout this scene. LOIS (calls out quietly) Clark. Clark are you here? CLARK (O.S.) I'm here. Lois walks towards his voice. She nears him. We will not see Clark. CLARK (CONT'D) Lois, stop. Please don't come any closer. LOIS (frightened) What's wrong? 59 INTERCUT - VERY CLOSE ON CLARK 59 We are tight enough not to note the size difference; he is in deep shadow. CLARK I went to see Dr. Klein... LOIS Clark, I think whatever's happening has something to do with that exterminator! Dick is gone, and there was an exterminator at _his_ place... (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 37. 59 CONTINUED: 59 CLARK Whatever information you get... I'll find a way of contacting you... LOIS Clark, would you please come out and talk to me?! She steps forward but still can't see Clark. CLARK Lois stop. Just listen. I can't let you see me like this. LOIS (emotionally) Can't or won't? Clark, you know how scared I was to let you into my life. I always thought it was weak to need someone. But it's not. CLARK Lois... I need to handle this alone. LOIS (confused) Handle what?? (fighting tears) Look, ask me to scour the earth for a bad guy, ask me to wake up every cop... knock on every door, ask me to walk on water, but please don't ask me to walk away! Because that's one thing I don't know how to do. A silence hangs between them. CLARK (with difficulty) I know. LOIS (fighting tears) I just got you back! I can't let you go! CLARK This is so hard for me to say... But that's what I'm asking you to do. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 38. 59 CONTINUED: 2 59 Lois creeps forward and, for just a second, sees what appears to be a child's silhouette in the shadows. Her mouth falls open and immediately the silhouette blurs away with the familiar WHOOSH! CUT TO: 60 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT #4 60 The door is jimmied open and Hans creeps in toward the bedroom with his bag. Again, he searches along the floor and in the corners. He hears Lois enter so he quickly rushes into the bathroom, shutting the door. 61 WITH LOIS 61 Lois enters in a panic looking for Clark. LOIS Clark, forgive me. I tried to do what you asked, maybe not hard enough, but I tried. I'm here to help. She stops when she sees Clark's suit wadded up on the floor in a pile. His glasses sit on top of the pile. She picks up his glasses and puts them in her jacket breast pocket. LOIS (CONT'D) Clark? Silence. She picks up his shirt and presses it to her face. LOIS (CONT'D) (overcome with grief) Oh, Clark... 62 INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT 62 Hans listens from the shadows. He reaches into the shower to retrieve the shampoo from among other bottles on the shower shelf. 63 LOIS 63 A NOISE of falling objects in the bathroom. Lois spins, startled, cautiously heads towards the bathroom. She starts to push the door open when suddenly Hans bursts out, attempting to escape. Lois spins around to see him. They struggle into the living room. He pushes her out of the way with his stick/bag. She falls over a chair as he dashes out the door. Lois gets up and makes her way to the window. She looks out to see: ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 39. 64 LOIS POV 64 Hans dashes across the patio area, leaps onto the ladder mounted on the building and disappears. On the back of his coveralls is the big logo 'SNOIL' Pest Control. 65 BACK TO LOIS 65 LOIS (quietly) 'Snoil.' As she ponders this, she sniffs a familiar floral scent. She turns on a light to discover the blue bottle of shampoo was dropped in the scuffle. It has spilled over a potted plant that was overturned. She grabs Clark's shirt, sniffs it. It is the same scent. LOIS Joe said Clark's cologne reminded him of his wife. (holds up blue bottle) But it wasn't cologne. Lois looks back down at the plant. 66 INTERCUT HER POV - THE PLANT 66 The plant has shriveled down to a minuscule version of its original size. ON Lois' horrified reaction, BLACK. _END OF ACT THREE_ ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 40. _ACT FOUR_ FADE IN: 67 INT. LOIS'S KITCHEN - LATE NIGHT 67 Lois is asleep, slumped over the kitchen table, surrounded by a phone, legal pads covered in scribbled facts, a dish with the remains of dinner. In the background we HEAR white noise from a television set long without programming. 68 ANGLE ON LIVING ROOM WINDOW 68 A torn page from a magazine floats through the window, as if guided by the wind. It comes to rest on the table by Lois's dozing face. 69 CLOSE ON MAGAZINE PAGE 69 The headline reads: "Chemist Shrinks Living Cells" Superman, now six inches tall, comes out from under the corner of the page. He watches Lois wistfully. 70 LOIS 70 A BLUR of blue streaks away from where she rests, and out of FRAME. Then a small blanket floats into FRAME, settling around her shoulders. The edge of the blanket flutters, and another BLUR streaks out from under it and away. 71 THE TV SET 71 Static plays across its face. The BLUR streaks by, and the screen goes blank. 72 A SHELF (OR TABLE TOP) 72 On it rests a framed, full length photo of Lois. 73 CLOSER - THE PHOTO 73 Tiny Superman floats down to stand before the picture, his eyes meeting Lois'. He reaches out to touch her. 74 LOIS 74 She bolts upright. ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 41. 75 SUPERMAN 75 Upon seeing her wake, he darts behind Lois' picture. 76 LOIS 76 Lois then notices the Article on the table. She looks, picks it up, looks at it, then glances around and sees the TV turned off and the afghan around her shoulders. A smile comes across her face. She knows he's returned. LOIS (hopeful) Clark, are you here? 77 INTERCUT SUPERMAN 77 He stands behind the picture debating whether to answer. Lois stands and begins to look around. LOIS Clark? SUPERMAN Lois, I'm here. She begins to turn on a light. SUPERMAN (CONT'D) Please don't... LOIS (lovingly) Clark, I know what happened to you. It was the shampoo. I took it to Dr. Klein to analyze. SUPERMAN Then you know what it's doing to me. LOIS And I know how scared you must be. And how scared I am. But what scares me even more is you think you have to go through this _alone_... SUPERMAN Lois... I don't know how much worse this'll get. Or if it can be reversed... (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 42. 77 CONTINUED: 77 LOIS And our commitment is to be together no matter _what_ happens! How do we face the future if you can't even face me _now_?! SUPERMAN Because I don't know _how_ to face you like this! I'd never burden you with the way I am! I wouldn't _expect_ you to stay with me. LOIS (now angry) Well, that doesn't say very much for me! SUPERMAN What kind of husband would I be? I don't know if I can protect you or even how long I'll be around. LOIS Your ego is so tied up in being this guy who busts through walls... SUPERMAN It's not ego, Lois! This wouldn't be a marriage! LOIS I guess it wouldn't. A marriage is where two people solve their problems _together_. We would solve this, Clark! SUPERMAN I didn't come here to fight with you. LOIS (frustrated) Then why did you come here? To tell me you're going to stay away forever? SUPERMAN Well, I was hoping I'd be more like a guardian angel. LOIS I don't want you to watch over me, I want you to be with me. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 43. 77 CONTINUED: 2 77 LOIS SUPERMAN You are so You are so stubborn! stubborn! She glares at the picture, and suddenly there's a BLUR of blue from behind the picture and out the window. Lois stares at the open window as the blast of air flutters things around her. The fight goes out of her. She stares sadly out at the night. LOIS (quietly) I love you, Clark. She stares down at the article in her hand, then flops down on the couch. She looks around forlornly, then down at the yearbook on the coffee table. She looks away, then something about the yearbook pulls her attention back. 78 COVER OF YEARBOOK - INSERT 78 on the cover, in big bold letters, the word: "LIONS." 79 WITH LOIS 79 She slowly reaches down, picks up the yearbook, goes to a mirror, holds up the yearbook in front of her. The word "LIONS" is reflected backwards. LOIS (reading) 'S-N-0-I-L.' 'Snoil.' CUT TO: 80 INT. STAR LABS - ON MAGAZINE ARTICLE - MORNING - DAY #5 80 PULL BACK to find the article in Dr. Klein's hands. He finishes skimming it. LOIS Thanks for meeting me so early. DR. KLEIN (covering his fatigue) Science never sleeps, my dear. (yawns) Yes, I recall seeing this a year or so ago... Dr. Torvold Graham claimed held found a way to shrink living cells... Where did you get the article? (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 44. 80 CONTINUED: 80 LOIS From Superman. DR. KLEIN Superman? You've _seen_ him? LOIS We... spoke. Have you had any luck analyzing the shampoo? DR. KLEIN A little. But we're nowhere near reversing its effect. (losing it) Lois, I've never been under so much pressure! I have this enormous responsibility! If the world knew he was shrinking.... LOIS _Klein_! Pull it together! This is not about you, it's about Superman. DR. KLEIN Right. LOIS If you had this Dr. Graham's notes... Could you find the antidote? DR. KLEIN Possibly, but the details of the work were confidential, and Dr. Graham vanished some months ago. He was never found. LOIS Well, who did he work for? DR. KLEIN Gee, I believe his work was funded by a large... cosmetics firm. LOIS (staring) Cosmetics.... firm? DR. KLEIN Yeah, those people are always trying to shrink _some_thing. Lois stares off, wheels turning, suddenly piecing things together and growing more excited: (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 45. 80 CONTINUED: 2 80 LOIS (suddenly on a roll) She runs a cosmetics company!! DR. KLEIN (lost) Oh, I see. LOIS None of us were her friends in high school... And suddenly she's comforting Julie and calling me... He didn't want to keep 'her waiting' he said! Joe was having lunch with _her_! DR. KLEIN (nervously) He was? LOIS An exterminator was at Julie's place and at Clark's! From 'Snoil' pest control! 'Snoil' is 'Lions' backward! We were the 'Lions!!' Dr. Klein, I know where to get those notes!! She heads full steam for the door. There is a sudden WHOOSH, and a note floats down from above. Dr. Klein snatches it. DR. KLEIN (reads) 'Lois, it's too dangerous. Stay put 'til you hear from me.' LOIS (touched) Aww. He always says that. (heading out) And I never listen. And she's gone. CUT TO: 81 INT. DOLL HOUSE - ON DOORKNOB - EARLY MORNING 81 There is a SNAP and the lock on the door breaks open. The door opens and Superman enters. We see Debbie, Les and Dick sleep on the sofa and easy chairs in their one room hell. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 46. 81 CONTINUED: 81 They begin to stir, and Superman hurriedly steps into the closet, there's a soft WHOOSH and he immediately reappears, in wet suit, snorkel and mask from the G.I. Joe collection. He adjusts the mask (to hide his identity) as the three captives notice him and jump up. CLARK I'm getting you out of here. LES Who're you? CLARK A... Navy Seal. DICK Boy. You guys are good! DEBBIE I'm not going out there. There's a huge cat. CLARK I'll take care of the cat. I'm... a Navy Seal. DICK The door's locked. CLARK I jimmied it. C'mon, we'll go down the table leg and across the floor... Hurry; before anyone wakes up... They hurry toward the door. Sudden BANGING on the hotel room door O.S. LOIS (O.S.) Annette! Annette! Open up! It's Lois! CLARK (throwing up a hand) She never listens! 82 THE ROOM 82 Annette, in gaudy robe, sleep mask pushed up on her head, staggers for the door, carrying her cat. ANNETTE Coming, coming. She passes the covered doll house, SLAMS her hand on it. ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 47. 83 INT. DOLL HOUSE ROOM 83 Debbie, Les, Dick, and Clark reel from the vibration. 84 BACK TO SCENE 84 ANNETTE (to dollhouse) One word and you're cat food Think about it. She continues on to the door, opens it to reveal Lois. ANNETTE (CONT'D) Lois, it's so early. Oh I do hope there isn't a problem. LOIS (her best acting) Annette... Clark's disappeared, just like the others! ANNETTE No! (hugs Lois) I'm here for you, Lois. LOIS Can I come in? ANNETTE Well... Why don't I meet you at... LOIS (pushing past her) I think I really need to sit down. Lois comes to a stop in the middle of the room, staring. LOIS (CONT'D) Oh. Gee. 85 HER POV 85 One side of the room is _massed_ with high school memorabilia. A cheerleader outfit with "Julie" written in script is in a plexiglass frame. There's a football helmet mounted on a stand. Pennants with "LIONS," pom-poms, pictures of Peggy as prom queen, school paper "The Lionette" with headline "Lois Lane New President," etc. ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 48. 86 INCLUDE LOIS AND ANNETTE 86 LOIS You sure have a lot of stuff from high school. ANNETTE I... was assembling it all for the reunion. (then) Lois. Please. Share your pain with me. LOIS That's Julie's cheerleading outfit... And isn't that Joe's helmet..? ANNETTE Joe was very grateful for... everything I've done. LOIS Generous of you, considering you didn't like him in high school. ANNETTE No, it was the other way around. Did you know I went to every one of his games and he never even looked my way? LOIS And Julie used to tease you ... ? ANNETTE She found my weight, wardrobe, braces, and attempts to speak, amusing, yes. LOIS And what'd I do, Annette? Annette suddenly realizes where this is headed, heads for the door. ANNETTE I think you'd better go, Lo-Lo... LOIS I'd almost forgotten you ran against me for President. ANNETTE Of course you forgot, Lois. Nothing I _ever_ did made the slightest impression on you. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 49. 86 CONTINUED: 86 LOIS And Peggy ... ? ANNETTE Pretty Peggy got all the attention, all the valentines and all the boys. Interesting, isn't it? Now everyone needs me to comfort them! Even you. LOIS You don't want to comfort anyone, you just want to see our pain. Sudden muffled SCREAMS for help. Lois spins to notice the covered doll house, and charges over to it. ANNETTE DON'T!!! Lois rips the cover off the doll house and stares, stunned. 87 HER POV 87 Debbie, Les, and Dick stand shouting. Clark is gone. DEBBIE/LES/DICK Lois! Get us outta here! She shrunk us! Call the cops! 88 LOIS 88 She stands staring, and: ANNETTE (O.S.) (coolly) Clark isn't here and Hans is having great difficulty finding him. Lois slowly turns as SHOT WIDENS to reveal Annette holding a gun on Lois. ANNETTE (CONT'D) So, maybe he's shrunk away to nothing. (a cruel smile) Lonely, Lois? Need a hug? LOIS Annette! You can make things right by turning over Dr. Graham's research notes. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 50. 88 CONTINUED: 88 ANNETTE Don't be silly. I'm more popular now than I ever dreamed. (cocks gun) Good-bye, Lois. Since you appear not to need me, I have no need for you. There is a tiny streak of blue behind Annette. LOIS Annette..! Annette FIRES at Lois; Lois flies down to the floor. ANNETTE I guess I'll have to clean up my own dirty work. She charges off to the other room. 89 CLOSE ON LOIS 89 Her eyes are closed. 90 ANGLE ON HER BREAST POCKET 90 There's a smoking hole in the cloth. The pocket wiggles. Superman climbs out of it, holding the mangled bullet. 91 ANNETTE 91 Re-enters with the large jug of the blue shampoo. ANNETTE Here's a box office hit for ya. 'Honey, I Shrunk the Reporter.' 92 LOIS 92 Lying still. Superman is no longer on her pocket. Lois begins to stir. She looks up and sees Annette raising the jug above her. 93 THE COUCH 93 Is suddenly roaring across the room towards Annette. 94 ANGLE ON SIDE OF COUCH 94 Superman flies, holding the side of the couch. ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 51. 95 ANNETTE 95 She notices the couch too late, it SLAMS against her, pinning her to the wall. Annette loses her hold on the jug and it shatters over her. ANNETTE (in horror) Nooooo!!! 96 QUICK SHOTS - LOIS - SUPERMAN - THE CAPTIVES 96 97 ANNETTE'S CLOTHES 97 Drop in a damp heap on the floor. The Captives cheer. 98 LOIS 98 LOIS (sadly) Those teenage years can be hell. CUT TO: 99 INT. DAILY PLANET - ON FRONT PAGE - NIGHT #5 99 The headline reads: "Couples United; Size Restored." Below is a photo of Joe and Debbie, Peggy and Les, Julie and Dick. 100 LOIS, CLARK, PERRY 100 PERRY Good work, people. You two make an incredible team. But I guess I say that too often. LOIS (glancing over at Clark) Oh, I dunno... Seems it bears repeating now and again. Clark smiles sheepishly at her. CLARK Chief... No cowboy boots? PERRY Aww, Sally said my boots were doseying when I was doeing. And I couldn't get my tush to push. Maybe I'd do better with the tango. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 52. 100 CONTINUED: 100 And he glides off. LOIS So the Fortune Teller was right. There _was_ a little Kent in my future. CLARK Are you saying I was 'small' not to share my troubles with you? LOIS That's not what I was saying... But nicely put. CLARK (drawing close) Would the future Mrs. Kent and her alter ego, Lois Lane, accept an apology and... dinner? LOIS (leaning near) If Mr. Kent and his alter ego provide the flight. CUT TO: 101 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - ON WINDOW - NIGHT 101 Superman and Lois float down outside the window. She steps inside. LOIS The four of us make a pretty good team. We should double date more often. SUPERMAN You know what's great about you? LOIS Sure. But I can always hear you repeat it. SUPERMAN Everything. No matter what we do, crack a spy ring or go to the car wash, as long as we're together it's... the best. (CONTINUED) ---page break--- "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" (#20) 2/20/96 53. 101 CONTINUED: 101 LOIS (kisses him, then:) So that must mean you won't ever push me away again. SUPERMAN And... maybe you could promise never to put yourself in harm's way again. LOIS Deal. They link pinky fingers. SUPERMAN on three. LOIS One, two, three.... SUPERMAN I promise. She smiles sweetly. SUPERMAN (CONT'D) Lois... BLACK. SUPERMAN (V.O.) _Lois_??? _THE END_